Silence descends upon the dark interior of the dungeon,
slow deep breaths punctuating the velveteen night
in a rhythm echoed by the flickering flames on the
multitude of candles that wash the scene in living light.
Glazed orbs fixed on a distant speck, wrists shackled high,
ankles kissed by the soft leather cuffs of the spreader bar…
Sensuous touches send shivers of delight coursing through
surrendered flesh, back arching as the sound of air in motion
drifts through veils of consciousness, the whip connects…
lips part, endorphins rush.. Sensations explode in her mind!
Author notes
prompt - Explosion of the mind
10 lines
In a list
- Chamber of Leather and Lace group list • next in list
A contest entry
- Dynamite by StormGoddess.
700 points, ended June 22, 2008, 10 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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lol now thats what i call descriptive... well done and i can see why its a trophy write
cheers
Jen
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thanks Jen
I had ful with this challenge.. it is not often i get to connect that well with a write..
Naids
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Excellent! Your words fit the prompt so well. Depper than what appears to be there. And wonderful word choices. Thank you for entering and good luck. Storm
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This is it
This is very well writen and of course runs the imagine everywhich way but loose. the lines I particularly like are "slow deep breaths punctuating the velveteen night in a rhythm echoed by the flickering flames on the multitude of candles that wash the scene in living light". These are lines I have always wanted to use to capture that rhythm you so well describe. I also loved "wrists shackled high,
ankles kissed by the soft leather cuffs of the spreader bar…", excellent and erotic without being vulgar while at the same time it shows that you have a vived and well oiled mind. " Shivers of delight coursing through surrendered flesh". Once again a fine choice of words that inflict in my imagination the very same delight, but mine is one of wonder at the use of such words. Finally I love "the whip connects…
lips part, endorphins rush.. Sensations explode in her mind!" I can hear that whip and feel that pinch and drown as those endorphines and my mind collide.
Brilliant work.
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*smiling as i remember the many times I have found myself in the very position I have described* Yes the freedom of the mind in play is to be experienced before it can truly be expressed. Thank you for your thought provoking and highly appreciated comment
DragonS
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there were one or two lines that just seemed to end in the middle of nowhere
(loved 5th and 6th line!) amazing!!!
okay, this is a SUPERB rendition of ... well, just about EVERYTHING that is exciting!!!
EXCELLENT, and deserves 3 claps - well done!!!!!!
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Thanks for the applause .. grins.. mmm I am having fun at the moment.. I was trying to play with one or two ideas here.. and think they worked quite well.. wantes sensual and yet visual.. not always that easy to do..
N
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This is amazing, Erotic and sensual, Paints a very strong image... Great Imagery, and great form! Very powerful Piece! "Sensuous touches send shivers of delight coursing through
surrendered flesh, back arching as the sound of air in motion " This in my opinion is a very thought filled line. I love it!
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Thank you so much Dragonbaby... I really enjoyed playing with this contest. I wantedd something different, and hope i have achieved what i set out to do...
DragonSong
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this is completely different than what i expected. filled with great imagery, it paints a strong image in the mind as well as a sensual one. thank you for sharing your talent. keep writing! God bless you always
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Thank you so much for the comment, it is greatly appreciated... I wanted to work in as much imagery in the 10 lines allowed while still maintaining the integrity of the prompt, and I hope I have achieved this.
The shorter pieces are both challenging and frustrating at times.
DragonSong
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This paints a picture very well, but not just visually, it brings out much sensuality too. I like for instance the idea of 'living light' from the candles, and that the flames echo her breathing, it builds up very steadily to the crescendo in the last line. This poem has been thought about, and it shows! very good
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Thank you for stopping by, I enjoyed playing with this prompt. I have found that the recent challenge has brought my muse back out and I am enjoying the contests again.
DragonSong
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Senses of the Mind
How true is the pleasure that the mind can enduce for to most what you speak of would not render an ounce of joy. Yet you know full well the pleasures of the flesh that the mind might yet endure, for what is life if not conquest of all things mighty or small.
I like it, I like it so!
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very well said, yes I would have to agree, to many a reader the joys of this would be lost in a humdrum of confusion and disdain, and yet for many a year this has been a lifestyle that i hold very dear. The divine union of pleasure and pain are the true opposites that enhance each other.. the expression of love through the act of sensual cruelty is an expression way beyond the confines of literary descriptions.
DragonSong
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