Father

Blood that flows from one to another
DNA that composes my flesh, Passion that formed me
Father, Your the one I seek, for the one I need to face

I am your son, so where are you
Its been years, I miss you, I want you
You left me, You left us, your sons, Now I want you back

I long for you father, to give what I've never had
I need to know, no I want to know, know who you really are
At least you, or some male, from our blood line, The space there is void

I don't know you, I don't know my Grand fathers
I never met my great grand dad, My grand uncles mean nothing to me
And Mom had no siblings, so no uncles to get to know, so then, Where are you?

Five years Dad, you've been gone for a good portion
So much I've grown, how I've evolved... The boy you knew is almost a man
Daddy I want to know why, Why did you leave, ignore my letter, what will it take?

I've forgiven you, No hellfire of fury from me
The poison of hating is removed from me, but its been hard fight
Daddy I want you, the vow is no more that I'll hate you forever, so please see me

If you never will, I need release
So Father of mine, do you know our pact?
My body is constructed from you and Mom, its your blood in me

Well I need to know, Are you proud of me?
Do I please you, is this what you wanted in a son?
Tell me yes or no, it doesn't matter now, but I just want to know

I won't hate you, I will not hate blood
Father of mine your not as evil as humans can get, but still
Why all the pain you caused us? Why did you do all you've done to us?

Which from all the pain, it tainted me
Causing me to hate you for so long, to fear you
You used to be a threat, I'd never act up around you Pa, cause I was scared

Now we are both men, and who's here?
I'm not scared anymore, and your memory can't hold me forever
I am Christopher, not Ray, and regardless of the reminders, that will always be

Your Shadow scares me, Everything it means
What you've done, how you hurt us, and how destructive you can be
To be everything I'm not and devour me, your shadow is my hell alone!

I will never be, your shadow
It is memories lasting forever, well I don't want it
The past means nothing father, I will walk into the future, now and forever

I will love who I want to, and that includes you
When your ready, my father, I offer you redemption in my heart
But it will only come, when you return and bring your heart as well.

One day Father, I will love you
I will never be you, but I don't hate you
Return to me! I seek you because I've forgiven you!

Now one day you and I may be Father and Son
Erase all the pain, of all the times I hear of how you missed out
And end all my suffering about Fathers, for one day, We might be Father & Son once again