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[ If you ever hated something or someone. ]

If you ever hated something or someone.
If you’ve ever read Jane Eyre,
and wondered why you don’t love like that.
If you’ve taken everything from someone.
Drunk too much and regretted it.
Stayed awake because you could and wanted to prove it.
Drank seventeen cups of coffee before nightfall then
danced the night away to Head Like a Hole
because you hate Disco.
Read Camus and felt lonely and out of control.
Wondered what governs the world
and everything in it.
Taken something to help you sleep,
because all you want to do is sleep.
Pinched and poked to make sure you are still there.
You are right?
Read comics because you wished you were ten again.
Named your pets Mulder and Scully.
Played Super Mario until 3 in the morning on your crappy SNES
even though its 2008
and you own a Wii.
If you've ever realised you world is the product of what you read, hear and see on TV.
If you've felt empty,
or believed the world is a digital wasteland.
Then I'm not the only one.

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • Canis Lupus
    July 20, 2008

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    This is brilliant, watched Jane eyre last night whilst feeling a little emotional, and head like a whole when you cant sleep, mhmm. I can associate like so many to the digital watseland feeling. Well done, this was natrual.


  • I-Am-Custard
    July 7, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I'll be honest and say I don't really like this. There was a big build up all the way through and then the climax was a thorough disappointment. All this amounts to really is a list of your experiences, and I as a stranger am given no reason to care at the end. Common memories just don't inspire enough emotion in me.
    Thank you for entering.


    • KafkasCat
      July 7, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks for the comment, I realise not everyone is going to like this. The anti-climatic ending is intentional, in Kiplings If, the poem ends with "And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!" basically saying endure and you have accomplished something. My ending is indicitive of the percieved emptiness of modern life. A lot of life these days in made up of vicarious experince through the media and that was what I was trying to convey. It is a list yes but to imply that the only meaning in the poem lies on the surface is rather suppositional. Your honesty is appreciated but I felt I had to defend myself too. Thanks.


  • perfectsunset gold member
    June 17, 2008

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    Such a wonderful poem; so honest and true feelings expressed. Beautifully written!

    Thanks for entering & best of luck


  • fullfathomfive
    June 13, 2008

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    I like it.. this made me laugh:
    "Played Super Mario until 3 in the morning on your crappy SNES
    even though its 2008
    and you own a Wii."
    and the rhyme in the next line is good too!! this is very original and it's slightly isnpired by 'If' by rudyard kipling?? If it is, it's a great modern take on it - cynicism replacing his optimism. If not, then you're unconsciously following the path of the greats!
    the rhyme scheme is slightly disjointed - but i think this adds to the theme of the poem- the wistfulness, and i like the last line - instead of giving a answer or advice, it's just saying 'yeah, that's life - that's all i know' and i like that, it makes it kind of melancholy and pensive, in contrast to the bracing and inspiring tone of RK's version.
    Thanks so much for your entry! xfff


    • KafkasCat
      June 13, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks, I'm glad you like it. I was inspired by If and its great that you picked up on that, I think the point of the poem is somewhat lost otherwise. Thanks again for the kind comment.


  • RawrSmileBabyPlz
    June 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I like this its interesting but very well written thanxx for entering my contest...


    xxx--<3--Shelly

1 - 7 of 7