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I'll Wait for you (full version

The urge overwhelms my brain
I know you can't be mine
Cause you belong to some one else
But I want nothing more
Than to hold you in my arms
To sleep wrapped up in the covers with you
To feel the heat off your skin
  Warm my soul
But you can not be mine
Because you are someone else's
But I can wait
My love for you has given me the patience
weather it be
  a day
    a week
      a year
        or a lifetime
I'll Wait for you

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • jocelynclaire
    June 14, 2008

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    Weather: the condtion outside. I think you mean "whether". This is a good start, but it needs a bit of work. Right now you have expressed a fairly run-of-the-mill idea in the same sort of language. Now you need to work with language to either make your idea more original, or to simply use more original language.


  • Jade.Butterfly gold member
    June 14, 2008

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    I liked this alot.
    I have waited once for someone,
    they say patience sometimes is the best thing, but i don't know how true that is, because in the end all i did was end up getting hurt.
    So i can really relate to this poem.
    And while waiting may be a good thing for some it just wasn't good for me.
    So good luck with all your waiting ..
    Very good write here.


  • amanda vampiress
    June 14, 2008

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    I liked it. I thought it was very well written, and conveyed the message to the point. It reminded me of someone from my past. lol


  • Maili Knephthan gold member
    June 14, 2008

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    YOu made a mistake in spelling here it is Whether instead of weather. This could of been written by me for the one I love. He is a wonderful man and I love him with all my heart but he will never belong to me. Thank you for sharing this piece it was well done


  • PatheticKt
    June 14, 2008

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    A short write of sweet simplicity, indeed; a theme about how missing the warmth of someone you love but having the patience as well
    The 13th line, I think it's "whether it'd be"; nice write, all right


  • Chrysalis
    June 14, 2008

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    *sigh* I feel you. I loved the longing part in the end... the sweetness of hope, and preferably not wanting to give up on love. *(SWEET!)* and the thought of waiting forever is something most people would do... but will unsuccessfully succeed. I don't know call me hopeless. I just think that way. . .
    loved your write, have a blessed day!
    -Blanche


  • Florida Sunshine
    June 13, 2008

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    Dang how sweet of a poem this is to write to someone.

    The weird thing this poem reminds me of is this guy I knew and liked... The sad part... was I got married... I didn't realize how he felt about me, I really thought we were just friends... When I wanted him, he was involved with another girl... Thus our paths just keep passing one another. I still think of him and wonder what my life would be like had we hooked up permantly. ~ Maybe if I just keep waiting this time, I might find out! Aye?

    Thanks for entering my contest ~ I enjoyed the read of your write ~ best of luck to you.

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