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I'll Wait For You (short version for contest)

I want nothing more
than to hold you
but you can't be mine
I’ll wait for you
  a day
    a year
      or a lifetime
love has given me the patience

Author notes

Please see the full version of this...I forgot about the word limit and had to edit....please comment on the full version I think it is better

A contest entry

what do you really think....

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Comments


  • BellaD
    June 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I actually like the shortened version better, but that's just my personal preference. I almost always think poetry gets better with some pruning. The version above hints at the story behind the words and makes the reader think.


  • PhoenixRose
    June 12, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Link to Full version

    http://allpoetry.com/poem/4325561
    please see the full version please it's alittle over twice the length and I think it is much better...