maybe
maybe it would be spring.
maybe we would walk through glimmering sunlight,
long days cool nights on the city streets.
maybe
maybe perfection can be found
amid twilight shining
first star I see tonight
shining
above glass towers
like the people who’d never throw stones again,
empty,
as they walked breast-to-back with these phantoms,
corpses awash with Juicy Hollister diamond glitter,
an awkward intimacy with each stranger to
press their shoulders
against them
because there was no escape.
maybe
maybe we would wander within this broken fairytale
and dance tongues in alleys
maybe we could make love knee-deep
in the heartache of dirty streets
and glass towers
maybe we would shatter our gleaming fortresses
and lie together on top of the shards;
maybe
with each living breath
the shards would dig deep into our flesh
and the blood would remind us of what we had broken
maybe
that’s all it would take.
our love would light up the night sky.
So let’s shatter the towers and make love lying in these dirty city streets.
Author notes
Umm. Summary:
Society=uber fucked up. There are lots of people packed closely together, but they don't really communicate, don't know each other. They barricade themselves in "glass towers", separating themselves from one another as well as from the reality of the "dirty streets." Love is the only cure for the human condition, is the only thing that can brighten this existence.
~ HeartbreakHeroine-x
A contest entry
- [And we were in this .house and there was a /sound like ;silverware being ..dropped on *linoleum by kill the lights.
525 points, ended June 14, 2008, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
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Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Holy Crap and a half!
This is a really satisfying write, laden with original, vibrant imagery that held me in an incredible, Kung-Fu grip! Lol
The underlying message is powerful and universal. You've expressed yourself in a way that is anything but cliche'...
"as they walked breast-to-back with these phantoms,
corpses awash with Juicy Hollister diamond glitter,
an awkward intimacy with each stranger to
press their shoulders
against them
because there was no escape."
The details you chose made this real to me, truly a poem about my world.
"maybe we could make love knee-deep
in the heartache of dirty streets
and glass towers
maybe we would shatter our gleaming fortresses
and lie together on top of the shards;
maybe
with each living breath
the shards would dig deep into our flesh
and the blood would remind us of what we had broken"
Man, I was reeling from the impact of these lines. So rich, tragic, full of yearning and pain. Raar!
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this is wonderful! wonderful imagery and use of words. there is not one thing that I would change.
"maybe
with each living breath
the shards would dig deep into our flesh
and the blood would remind us of what we had broken"
the end of the poem really speaks to me. reminds me of my own frustrations and thoughts. -
There's a reason you should be proud of a poem like this. It's very well done and very true. Except I'm not sure if I would make love to someone in the middle of a dirty street (but I speak literally of course ^_^) I like your take on society. It's always interesting to see a new metaphor like yours that's fresh, original, and unique but all your own. Keep up the writing. You do it very well.
Sincerely,
ModernXTimes -
oh
wow.
This is SO good.
Thanks for entering.
Stay sick.
xx sin -
This has a good message behind it. Well written and they rhythm is well done it flows quite well. Thank you for sharing this lovely poem. Keep writting you are doing well
-
i'm amazed
this is beautiful beyond beautful and i can't even choose my favorite part -
Yes i do like. Its very well written, and has a good message behind it. Good job, keep writing!!
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