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Seeing You In Everything

All alone this time
I stroll along the path
We used to take
Together as young lovers
The soil rubbing on my feet
Reminds me of your foot massages
The shining down on my back
Warms my heart
Like you do everyday
I am once again reminded of you

As this now lonely path comes to an end
I am standing by the salty ocean shores
Unable to hold back tears
When like a mirage I see you
and I see me
Frolicking in the cool ocean surf
As lovers united by youthful love
Though what I am seeing is my past
Not my present
I am still reminded of you

Each step I take on this path
Or in life
Some little thing
No matter how small
Sends me into a flashback
Of days when you were closer
And the miles did not exist
Each reminder I get
From everyday life
Reminds me of you

Author notes

"I would love to judge such a fun contest"

I have judged 100+ contests, one round contest with a co judge and a few large entry contests and of course lots of quickies.

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Comments

1 - 18 of 18

  • AutumnGypsy gold member
    August 28, 2008

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    Gosh this has been entered into a lot of contests! This is definatley from the heart and where can one go wrong with sentiments like that, great poem. Best to you


  • glitterydoom
    August 26, 2008
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    great write, I love the imagery
    Thankyou for entering my contest anf good luck


  • SmokinHotWhiteTiger
    August 12, 2008

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    Incredible

    1st off might I say congratulations on winning Gold in that 1 contest but sorry you did not place in the other ones. this is a very beautifully penned and it reminds me so muc of a small little spot called Called Cannon Beach in Oregon down the coast from ya. any ways I love the incredible depth flow and placing your heart into this poem. I can fele the love warmth and compassion radiating through out this poem with every word. it is sad when you are forced or must let go of someone and the memories come flooding back to you. any ways a very beautiful love warming write you have penned here and keep up the good work. Love always, Paul =)

  • Judith Chandler
    July 16, 2008
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    Bittersweetness. It's a lovely write and evokes that feeling very well.

  • Melissa Gayle gold member
    July 16, 2008

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    Your first for lines are awkward, I believe its just the line breaking that distracts here.

    I understand the poem is about you and your feelings but there is a lot of "I" in the piece, I really think that could be taken out.

    A bit more imagery would aid the piece as well, you are telling me everything but I would have liked to see more.

  • Poetryintheblood gold member
    July 10, 2008

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    Thank you for your beautifully penned entry, good luck in my contest, Josie


  • robforte
    July 3, 2008
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    deep and the solitude and remembrances are vivid.

    nice write!


  • quantumsurveyor
    June 29, 2008

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    Nostagia in spades. An enticing and an enduring piece of poetry that holds the reader in his own memories. Beautifully executed.


  • Kari gold member
    June 28, 2008

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    This was really deep, and I appreciated the ending of this piece. Very well done. Thanks for your entry in this contest
    Kari


  • maralisa silver member
    June 28, 2008

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    a sad poem full of the realitys of a broken heart and the emotions travel in and out of your soul it is hard when we lose someone we love very deep we can never get over this but we hope for courage to move forward to find ourselfs again the past doe not eqaul the future it shapes who we are I hope your lonelyness gets better the following stazas are so deep As this now lonely path comes to an end I am standing by the salty ocean shores
    Unable to hold back tears When like a mirage I see you congratulations on you shiny
    and good luck in the contest


  • satan-
    June 28, 2008

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    Sweet poem, very deep and heartfelt. The change in the emotion from happy to sad flowed really nicely, great job. Thanks for entering my contest!


  • Hetha gold member
    June 27, 2008

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    Wow! This is awesome in emotional depth, and it's relatable in content. Congrats on snagging the gold. You did very well.

  • piccola silver member
    June 25, 2008
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    congrats on the gold hehe! I believe I commented on this before.


  • sophia moonfairy
    June 25, 2008
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    Great write I love this good job and good luck in the contest thanks for your time


  • Razor-Blade Romance
    June 17, 2008

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    I know, already, that this contest is going to kill me to judge !
    Well Done !
    This piece is purely remarkable.
    I love the emotion and powerful word usage !

  • piccola silver member
    June 13, 2008
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    thank you for grabbing an title and entering


  • Kim
    June 12, 2008

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    This piece is very touching. I could not only feel the pain of love lost, but I can vividly imagine the walks on the beach that were spent reminiscing about the loved one that is no longer a part of the writer's life. It brings to mind the old saying, "It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. My heart was touched to by your words. Keep on writing.

1 - 18 of 18