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A Moment

We stand there, my hands in his
Our eyes completely lost in the other's
Words perch on the tip of my tounge
Yet I don't know what to say
I tell him there are no words to
Describe how I feel and he smiles
Cups my chin with his hand
Brings my face towards his
Our lips meet...and in that instant
I feel a bliss like I have never known
Could I be in Heaven?
All we wanted to say is said
All our feelings are made known
It's like lightning struck
Electricity pulses through my body
My knees go weak
I lose my breath
He releases me and smiles
When there are no words...a kiss says it all

Author notes

Gah the ending is weak...hopefully I can get on and tweak it some more before the contest is judged

And I didnt read the rules
my favorite color is blue
and words I like are shiny captivating electric...yeah lol

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

  • Nicole Hanna
    January 10

    Edit | Reply
    Eegads, a whole poem about kisses! lol. But really, aside from the fact "kiss" is one of my no-no words, this poem is really a little too gushy for my tastes. It's got feeling, but not the kind I'm looking for. Thanks for entering.


  • No longer in use
    November 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Comment Number Four

    You are an amazing poet. Your words are just spectacular. You know yourself around words. I'm honored just leaving my words of nonsense here.

    I'm astounded by what you write here.

    You know you should leave this site. You don't need help. YOUR THE BEST!!! Can you teach me? lol

    Really this is superb. And I'm not saying that because I always say that. It's true.

    Wonderful and Awesome. haha

    Thought I wasn't going to say it weren't you. lol.


  • rainyday woman silver member
    November 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is well done and it's just like it feels when you're with the one you love. Expressed well, and I don't know if you tweeked it or not but I like it just as it is.

    Cheryl


  • Nephlim
    June 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Thanks for following most of the rules :P

    One of the rules lied to you, and you shouldn't tell the judge you didn't read their rules. How ruuuude .

    Onto commenting! I loved how you took the contest and made it how it's supposed to be, the description of hesitation and movement as clear as the feelings! Good luck