Its wonderful,
to feel this way.
I love you so,
My handsome prince.
I'm ready to feel your kiss.
be held in your arms,
but for this I shall wait.
distance can't hurt something,
so perfect.
You have become my life,
my rose amongst the thorns.
I will never give you up,
my love you shall keep,
till the day I say "I do".
Author notes
this is for my fiance, Mac, my true love
1. Write a love poem.... any kind of love.. motherly love.. romantic love.. sisterly love.. anything (more likely to win trophy if you write something really original)
A contest entry
- Fall Me In Love. by Pretty Britty.
1400 points, ended June 29, 2008, 32 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Options, Options, Options and PW allowed! by PonyPride.
950 points, ended September 10, 2008, 33 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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I really like the emotion and power that you have devoloped in this poem. However, I think that with a little work it can be much better. Now, please dont take any of my comments as an insult because they are not meant to be that way.
First of all, I think this peice would be better suited in a centered alignment. But I would also reccomend altering the grammer in some spaces like during these lines:
Im ready to feel your kiss,
to be held in your arms,
but for this I shall wait,
distance can't hurt something,
so perfect.
I think what you are saying is beautiful but it would be better if you broke it up a bit.
Like I would put a period after wait. And start anew at the next line.
I would also put a period next to kiss and then start new at But.
I love the imagery throughout and the passion, good work. And if you decide to change this up please let me know so I can take another look
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hows that? i broke it up and centered it
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This is sweet but
I have to ask
is this a long distance relationship?
I'm all sorts of curious. -
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yes I live in Missouri he lives in CA.
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