Sweet Angel laying there asleep,
For she is not making a peep.
She dreams of what we do not know,
Wishing that it's angels aglow.
Her tiny hands slip off the bottle,
Before she slipped into a dream she was drinking it at full throtle.
Now she is happy ,content and dreaming,
Just pray she don't wake up Screaming.
Author notes
Dear Crazymomma,
You have my permission to use my poem for your book,
-Mandi
A contest entry
- Pic inspired by crazymomma.
450 points, ended July 3, 2008, 23 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Gimme your greenies by crazymomma.
300 points, ended August 11, 2008, 58 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - For those I forgot by crazymomma.
500 points, ended September 7, 2008, 22 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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I remember the picture from the other contest and this was a great take on that pic. I really liked the rhyme and the cute and funny ending. Thanks for entering and good luck
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Thank you so much.
And to comment you back on the sister thing. I'm proud to be your lil sis on AP.
I would have commented you back earlier.
I just have been so tired.
With my kiddos just starting school it has taking a toll on me.
Anyway luv ya sis,
Mandi
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Liked this one. The last line had me laughing.
I do feel it could use a little work as the rhythm was fairly okay most of the time, but the 6th line specifically, does not really fit.
The easiest (for me anyway)to understand rhythm is to look at it as the "drum beat" of the piece like you would a song. In the first line you'd probably be counting 4 beats. All the lines seem pretty close to that in this poem but the 6th line really deviated.
The mood and idea of the poem were still pretty nice and I definitely enjoyed it.
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Awe, ty!
It was a pic inspired comtest poem..
So i had to go the pic..
I amd glad you enjoyed this one. I actually enjoyed this one myself!
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This is so cute. by the way she rarely wakes up screaming. She is such a sweet and good girl.
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Thank you very much,It's a good thing that she don't wake up screaming.
My daughter did alot which she had a touch of colic.
And my son rarely cried.
It's odd they were so different to be twins.
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