It is Sunday again.
I cycle up the hill
on the morning road to singing
the sun shines
the blossom is out
the world just right
I exult .. and I fret
I do not see you.
When I arrive
I am peaceful
sit in the corner
watching all the gossip
they sprinkle their glory
all is so good
...and then we sing
at first we are too bold
demanding exuberance
but finding only heaviness;
lumpy stomping
just a bit harsh.
We all know this
and ease into somewhere different
Somehow today
when we are quiet
we are more telling;
we shimmer.
and the music opens as a shy flower
Steal away to nothingness
morendo and more
hardly a whisper or a breath
I am hushed
I am filled
I am saved
and returning down the quiet lane
I am an inane smile
even though I still do not meet you
Hope resides in rare corners
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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it's all so true. "at first we are too bold..." that bit really made me smile because you got it exactly right! The three lines: "I am hushed, I am filled, I am saved" in a way, sum up everything...it's just so simple...
really lovely
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i really like this... (i said i was busy now but i decided i had time for ONE poem)
i love the last line the most. and the first line... the simple addition of the word "again" makes the first line what it is.
im glad i like your writing style... otherwise i might not have been able to keep my promise of reading some of your stuff ;P
anyways. peace for now.
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I must applaud your subtlety. I agree with your others comments, its beautifully quiet and well wrapped up with a gentle, yet satisfying end. I can always rely on something delicate and moving from you.
"when we are quiet
we are more telling;
we shimmer."
I love the whispering/silence imagery you've used,,it all contributes the..breathiness of the poem...you get what I mean, its hard to say- for me anyway.
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I know you don't quite see it my way!!!
But this is just what happened and what was going on in my heart too.
I can't help one poem referring to another...each poem is not just a thing in isolation....but the first line casts a nod to an earlier posting "Quadligation"
Thanks indeed...and anyway for your comments....I am being still in awe of the beauty created from discarded Fish and Chips!!! -
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You know, I'm blind tonight.. I can't see much even in the greatest poems..I will return. That fish thing I wrote was well, boring lol and leaning mainly against cliches.
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rare alright
After reading this great work, I must say that the delicateness is beautiful. A complete poem, a complete thought, i want more...
This one will hang for a while in me. Breeding familiarity towards the writer thru his work.
wow
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There is something marvelous about the stillness, or calmness, inside; especially if there has been commotion and anxiety. It is good when that calmness begins to have the shimmer of energy. I like how you say "we shimmer." And, of course, it's almost a necessity to have a little hope around the corner. Thanks for an effective write.
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Ok, so as a girl - I rarely, if ever, admit when I am wrong. So note the time & date, please. I did not think you could make it better than it was. But you have. And it makes my heart ache.
Thank you for sharing it again, honey!
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