Actions speak louder than words
though the most important
are never said.
We try to interpret the meaning,
but I still don't know.
Inside I wish for peace,
that I may for once
say it willingly
and believe what I mean.
Time can pass by quickly,
but if we let it stay,
moving on will only be harder
(Who are we to join the crowd?)
So many definitions...
Love, an action.
To care for with not one's pleasures,
but heart.
We have a long ways to go.
I could wallow in this cliche meaning:
the lovely name of three words,
but I only wish to leave.
I'd like to keep you
(hold you, kiss you)
I'd love to mean it.
Secretly, maybe I do.
But why breathe in love
when I can smother myself in lust?
"I love you."
(Keep me for the future nights
and I promise to make this memorable)
Author notes
-- last 3 lines:
"I love you."
(Keep me for the future nights
and I promise to make this memorable)
in the parenthesis, I was telling you flat out what it can mean when someone says "I love you" when they don't mean it and they're just covered in lust.
Enjoy, all.
Dove ~
A contest entry
- How bad do you feel for your thoughts? by Blossom.
330 points, ended July 18, 2008, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Criticism doesn't matter much for this one, but I still want to know what you think :)
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Awwwww sweetheart, we all have a long ways to go...
i can remember wondering if i was ever going to get
this love stuff right, but i finally did after many years
of trying and tons and tons of heartaches. you happen
to be one very wise young lady.
love your poem, and you too.
loveandblessings2u & yours always
love ya,
your auntie joyce
-
brillaint poem, i loved the title ! 'smother myself in lust'
love that line -
This was an amazing piece. Fantastic work. :]
-JM<3
-
a wonderful write
this is great. ahh romance... so how are you podo
-
very good.
Full of love and lust. Love it
-
ooo i likys it alot
-
love being covered in lust... often times it is true. But wow! I never imagined those thoughts to be so powerful and so compelling. I don’t know… maybe cause I feel the same and that I can relate. You had me thinking in the end... "could love just really be love?" or does it always pair up with what we call lust.., ahhhhhh geez. I dunno. lol. =) saying the three words isn't so bad... though it's kinda scary ^^,
I loved this piece a lot!!! Applauds for it... have a blessed day.
-Blanche
-
Hi Sweety,
You and I have talked about this several times, and while I think some of what you feel when you hear "I love you" is fear, there's also a ton of wisdom in your poem. I know for myself, I heard and thought I believed a lot of guys "loved me" in my teens and especially 20's...but it wasn't until I met M. that I knew it was true. And the reason I still know it's true, is because the caring and love didn't end even when our relationship did.
I think the best measure of love is when you can think of it not so much as a feeling, but an action...Check this out sometime, I don't think you've read it before, and see if it makes sense to you:
http://allpoetry.com/poem/2148848
And especially read my first reply comment directly beneath the poem.
There are several parts of your poem I really like...
"Time can pass by quickly,
but if we let it stay,
moving on will only be harder
(Who are we to join the crowd?)
This is true...it IS harder to move on the longer you're with someone...but at the same time, it's time itself that relationships need to grow and become deep and lasting.
I think many relationships start out as lust, but grow into something more.
I also like:
"Love, an action.
To care for with not one's pleasures,
but heart.
We have a long ways to go."
That really relates to everything else I've said so far.
Nice job on the technical aspects of this also...great punctuation, good flow, and I think your meaning comes across pretty well. The AN did help me understand it even better. I'd only caution you that if you use the parenthesis to describe what you hear at the end, the other places you've used parenthesis should probably do the same to avoid any confusion...but that's MO.
Great job Sweety...good luck in the contest!
Love and
s
Your AP mom,
~J.
-
Time can pass by quickly,
but if we let it stay,
moving on will only be harder
(Who are we to join the crowd?)I'd like to keep you
(hold you, kiss you)
I'd love to mean it.
Secretly, maybe I do.
But why breathe in love
when I can smother myself in lust?
"I love you."
(Keep me for the future nights
and I promise to make this memorable)wonderful poem on your version of true love from your heart good luck in the contest
-
I get the poem. Its sad. But then again....not really....im not good at critiqing poetry or whatever. Sorry. My favorite part was 'I'd like to keep you
(hold you, kiss you)
I'd love to mean it.
Secretly, maybe I do.'
~Your Ah-mazingly(dead) daughter,
Tye~
-
yah i totally get that
its words guys just throw out there when they want some thing some times
my favorite part was
Inside I wish for peace,
that I may for once
say it willingly
and believe what I mean.
like we want love an crave it an yearn for it even when we know its not love
Great poem!
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