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sedimental

 

 

 

 

 

we fall
 
to discover how deeply embedded
we are-
 
in that range of weight

between leaves,
as green thumbs tumble

and fingers
tremble through otherness,
 
each tries to hitch a ride,
or actually, more truly,

 

a destination
 
for everything drops
the same, each as stone,
welded to earth
 
and the depth can vary but the well is one,
a single centre drawing us down
where the scale of mass does not define
the journey.
 
that we each have substance

frames the only consequence of trust,
a magnitude that tolerates,
that determines how far the wind
will carry us from home, before we strike
the water's face,
 
before we are memories

 

 

buried

by those yet to fly.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

Edits: 3

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 12 of 12
  • Congratulations on your well deserved gold
    Gaylene


  • Naridill gold member
    July 9

    Edit | Reply
    Your poetry always grins - not with teeth but it's knows something we all fail to know.

  • Rowan gold member
    June 13

    Edit | Reply
    Another deep, and beautiful write, my friend. You have a way of writing that when i read, I feel like i'm falling... in a good way.
    Excellent, as usual.


  • Faithbound gold member
    June 12

    Edit | Reply
    before we are memories

    buried
    by those yet to fly.



    Spledid writing.



  • Yes! The essense of life in it freefall! Man, you can write!


  • sheltered
    June 12

    Edit | Reply
    I love the way you write.
    Always so refined and thought provoking.
    Great title. Coined gold.


  • apples fell gold member
    June 12

    Edit | Reply

    Nit-picks and worth-whiles:
    "tremble through void toward otherness,"
    - Awkward Kate. Just doesn't read well.
    "that each of us has substance
    is the only consequence of trust,"
    - It's the "that" and "is"(could be the "only" as well, but I am less sure about that). I am sure, however, that you can find a way to make it move smoother. You are good, when you edit.
    End of critiques.

    I'm really loving that "depth" stanza. This whole poem reads philosophically, I think, and that is original. There is mystery here, though it is slight.

    Nicely woven for the most part kate. I always look forward to a new posting from you and reading your stuff when I first wake up.

    ;


    • EvilKate gold member
      June 13

      Edit | Reply
      You have an excellent eye: it hooked to both of the parts I was circling around. Some edits done and it's closer ... not sure yet, still a small niggle or so.

      Tanku!


      • apples fell gold member
        June 13
        Edit | Reply

        Some minds think alike, I guess.

        I see that it is closer, yes. I'm not sure if it needs anymore niggling, but you could be right. I think all poetry at some point most be abandoned, for good or for worse. You clean up nicely though.

        And you're welcome.

        ;

  • dehydrated
    June 12

    Edit | Reply
    and there i was thinking that i could write for this contest..


    brilliant poetry!

  • "that each of us has substance/is the only consequence of trust" how profound and elusive at the same time. To grasp at the gravity being, for a moment, becoming real to ourselves, by offering and receiving trust. This reader loves this piece. Geo


  • hiraeth
    June 12

    Edit | Reply
    "in that range of weight between leaves" -- this, and so many more of your images (which I would tell you and by pasting here, but 'twould be annoying, cos i love every last bit of your poem), are just astounding, and your conclusion is extremely powerful.

    excellent work.

    --cristina

1 - 12 of 12