I wish we didn’t have
the obstinence of illness
that provokes my faith
as it lays bricks
on my shoes.
prayerfully, my face looks
into the broken light
that pours through the
hexagon window
like the one my father
looked into the day
he lost his Mother
the fate of ages,
the somber aloof.
there, the ides of late
shone through filtered
blue eyes, lucent, receiving
something cryptic
outside my youth.
I watched-
and his eyes showed me
what death looked like
in its obscure entrance;
to think it was right
after I’d taken out the
metal ice trays
to savor the frozen purple
the succulent grape
it had no trace of tragedy
or hint of death;
it only tasted like hope
that cooled my tongue
with impending doom
just a few bites away.
Author notes
Painting- Robert Lenkiewicz
Courtesy of Courtenay's Fine Art
http://www.courtenaysfineart.com/investment_opportunities/investment_opportunities.html
In a list
A contest entry
- Want to be READ? ENTER HERE! by Avatar of Innocence.
525 points, ended September 7, 153 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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EXPERTLY CRAFTED !!
I LOVE THIS POEM ! EXCELLENT IMAGERY AND BEAUTIFULLY COMPOSED. I WOULDN'T DARE CHANE A THING !
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Hi there cindyloohoo...( "who is more than two"-Grinch-inspired?
I'm so tickled you enjoyed this one. Very close to my heart as well. Thank you for reading and leaving a comment and applause!
Warmly, CookieZeal/D
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It doesn't matter whether or not we are published, (and you are) the only thing that matters is whether or not we are memorable. If we can strike the heart chords of another soul the rest is irrevelant. Brick on my shoes is the stuff you are made of. The title with the touching of death is a whirlwind in my head. Having done this trip so many times. It is not ugly, but wonderful for some of us. Yet, the gray of the transition is a fog in the freezer and we pray we pull out a popsicle rather than a freezer burned bit of meat. How in the world do you find these ideas? RC
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Your comments are of an essence that my writing needs. I suppose it's like the 'duette' form. It requires interpretation so the revelational layers come fuller circle.
I thank you deeply for that.
I don't know 'how' the ideas come about, but I trust
that it does. Must be the 'ides of late'.
Adolescence creeps out the minute something as shocking
as the death of someone occurs. It's memorable, and metaphorical to anything that bookmarked that move into the unexplainable world of loss. Gain happens.
Thank you...
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Beautiful words ...
of a soul, approaching and waiting on a miraculous glimpse into Eternity ...
I love your gentle tone, so probing in its linkage of life and Life, as if the succulent grape, frozen, held the Wine for this holy celebration of New Life ...
Love you.
Myra
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Wonderful!
I actually got goose bumps reading this. Lovely imagery and evocative phrasing throughout. I would have to copy and paste all of it but let me select a particularly favorite line or two:
and his eyes showed me
what death looked like
in its obscure entrance;
Well Done.
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Powerful!
I just woke up & saw your first stanza & wow can I identify!
I wish we didn’t have
the obstinence of illness
that provokes my faith
it lays bricks
on my shoes.
This is the way I feel daily! Like lead bricks on my feet! [I don't wear shoes or slippers in the house
] What a haunting & gripping poem with intense imagery!
Your ending of this oh so well written piece makes me think of my overeating last night [I'm a recovering obsessive compulsive binge eater] & this hits home so poignantly:
it had no trace of tragedy
or hint of death;
it only tasted like hope
that cooled my tongue
with impending doom
just a few bites away.
Oh my...I think I'm gonna pop back into bed for a few more winks & get some more rest. This was all a bit too much reality to wake up to this morning!
on a brilliant write! 
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Cookie, Hi
I Read your poem 'popsicle'...(his eyes showed me what death looked like,) what a powerful line, strange isn't it, i've seen that look before, never was able to put my finger on it, untill I read your poem...death! and how a simple thing like the taste of a grape popsicle
can give you hope, but little things do, don't they?
. Rewarded 6
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Inspiring
This poem is full of creative imagery and is ripe with foreshadowing. It made me want to read more. Well done! -
Good
I can relate
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