Collide our hearts
Lighten our lives
Lips bring poison
Kiss brings death
Die as I love you
Fall in embrace
Decline in health
Increase in hurt
Repayment is yours
Enjoyment is mine
We are alright
Me, you and corpse
Cutting off the world
We live sheltered lives
Life gives hope
Death comes easily
Ressurection is tenfold
As we both witnessed
Continue to race
And i'll cease to breathe
My love is gone
I endlessly cry
Forever we're trapped
Together we'll
Xx D.I.E xX
A contest entry
- A Different Kind Of Quickie (PIF) by Page Deleted..
480 points, ended June 15, 2008, 5 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
ARTIST: http://dalaiharma.deviantart.com/art/Lost-in-Translation-88256641 This is my 1st ever crack at dirty pretty so go easy on me...plz, domz
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Well, it may not have been Dirty pretty
but it was quite pretty anyways...
and yu did get a GREEN TROPHY...
xxx
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I like the words you've used in this piece, although I wouldn't exactly call it dirty pretty.
I've read through the comments you've made, and I don't think you really understand the whole dirty pretty concept, but thank you for entering, I did enjoy reading this.
Here are some links in case you ever do want to try writing it again:
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=dirty-pretty
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=dirty+pretty
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=dirrty+pretty
Keira
-- Liloven -
hmmmm...i liked the last part the best. it was a good poem, though i'm not really a huge fan of dirty pretty. however, i think you pulled it off quite nicely. good job.~Jules
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i can't get dirty pretty, don't understand it...
lol but i'd like to, i dont fancy writing it, just tried it y'know? but i do want to know what it's all about...
Domz
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yeah, i tried it once. usually the poems are supposed to be about love that can kill you or whores...and a lot of people write it LiKe tHiS...with lots of astericks and x's. yours was the least distracting to read. :]
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haha, yeah i get why they are soo annoying
thanks Pretty Girl, thanks for clearing that up for me..cheers - Domz -
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no problem. :]
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This has rhythm and not that much rhymes... I hope you're starting to get it, rhymes are limiting you way too much, but this is not bad at all.
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so is dirty pretty not supposed to have any rhymes?
i want to learn how to write like this, not so i can write dirty pretty, but so i know i can write dirty pretty y'know?
but you like it? thats cool, thanks Kyo-N
i haven't the foggiest how to write in this style...lol - Domz
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awww sadness! love it
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thanks, this was my 1st ever crack at dity pretty writing sooo....
cheers for the love, peace in chaos - domz xo
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