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P.O.I.S.O.N.O.U.S. *K*I*S*S*E*S*

Collide our hearts

Lighten our lives

Lips bring poison

Kiss brings death

Die as I love you

Fall in embrace

Decline in health

Increase in hurt

Repayment is yours

Enjoyment is mine

We are alright

Me, you and corpse

Cutting off the world

We live sheltered lives

Life gives hope

Death comes easily

Ressurection is tenfold

As we both witnessed

Continue to race

And i'll cease to breathe

My love is gone

I endlessly cry

Forever we're trapped

Together we'll

Xx D.I.E xX

A contest entry

ARTIST: http://dalaiharma.deviantart.com/art/Lost-in-Translation-88256641 This is my 1st ever crack at dirty pretty so go easy on me...plz, domz

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Comments

1 - 11 of 11

  • Li snuffles
    June 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Well, it may not have been Dirty pretty

    but it was quite pretty anyways...

    and yu did get a GREEN TROPHY...

    xxx

  • Page Deleted.
    June 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I like the words you've used in this piece, although I wouldn't exactly call it dirty pretty.

    I've read through the comments you've made, and I don't think you really understand the whole dirty pretty concept, but thank you for entering, I did enjoy reading this.

    Here are some links in case you ever do want to try writing it again:
    http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=dirty-pretty
    http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=dirty+pretty
    http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=dirrty+pretty

    Keira
    -- Liloven


  • infernalxfidelity
    June 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    hmmmm...i liked the last part the best. it was a good poem, though i'm not really a huge fan of dirty pretty. however, i think you pulled it off quite nicely. good job.~Jules


    • Domz101
      June 13, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      i can't get dirty pretty, don't understand it...

      lol but i'd like to, i dont fancy writing it, just tried it y'know? but i do want to know what it's all about... Domz


      • infernalxfidelity
        June 13, 2008
        Edit | Reply
        yeah, i tried it once. usually the poems are supposed to be about love that can kill you or whores...and a lot of people write it LiKe tHiS...with lots of astericks and x's. yours was the least distracting to read. :]

  • U.g.l.y.
    June 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This has rhythm and not that much rhymes... I hope you're starting to get it, rhymes are limiting you way too much, but this is not bad at all.


    • Domz101
      June 13, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      so is dirty pretty not supposed to have any rhymes?

      i want to learn how to write like this, not so i can write dirty pretty, but so i know i can write dirty pretty y'know?
      but you like it? thats cool, thanks Kyo-N
      i haven't the foggiest how to write in this style...lol - Domz


  • BaalHammon
    June 12, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    awww sadness! love it

    • Domz101
      June 12, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      thanks, this was my 1st ever crack at dity pretty writing sooo....

      cheers for the love, peace in chaos - domz xo

1 - 11 of 11