For the first time all of my thoughts are set straight
The desperation of yearning for a renewed heart will just have to wait
I lose my senses when I feel your hand swaying up and down my back
But it's the consideration of your actions you tend to lack
Because the damage you've left
It just isn't okay.
I'm not sure what I want, but I know what I deserve
And from what's been said and done
The situation is relentlessly observed
I've got a few rehearsed last words and a perfect exit strategy
But when you look in my terrified eyes...
I realize the joke's been played on me
[It's been a disastrous && beautiful mistake from the very start]
If you really care as much as you claim
You've got to let me go before we're both put to unrequited shame
Not being able to sort out what's right from what's wrong
Puts me at too high of risks while my unsteady emotions begin to drown
Because from the very beginning,
I should've known you wouldn't always be around.
I'm not sure what you want, I don't know what you deserve
Nothing will ever really be solved
If the situation is aimlessly observed
There's an open door to leave and I'm impatiently waiting for you to walk away
But when I look at you with distress in my eyes...
You decide to stay.
[It's been a disastrous && beautiful mistake from the very start]
Author notes
The guy is taken, the girl is not. Let the complications begin !
Personal. My current situation. it rocks. hahhh.
zombiefiedmonkeycheese'
option #1
'Emotion~Overrated~Underappreciated~Overwhelming
YoureNoGoodForMe
A contest entry
- A Complicated Love (PIF) by Expression.
405 points, ended June 13, 2008, 17 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - POINTS- Easy Entries by NickelleteXninja.
600 points, ended July 8, 2008, 45 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything by crystallynnbradford.
300 points, ended July 30, 2008, 88 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Best contest EVER! [i would like to think so anyway haha] by thearmsofsorrow.
475 points, ended August 1, 2008, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - BATTLE OF THE GOLDEN RHYMES by Swan song.
2000 points, ended October 12, 2008, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Love Poems/Heart Break/Wanting Love/Lost Love by gigglesalot.
900 points, ended January 12, 34 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
pleassse tell me what you think :]
Comments
1 - 23 of 23
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Nice entry Love is sucha complicated thing but helps make nice poems like this one
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Quote for Comment, Message When Done [[Title Included Please]]
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did it :] thankss & sorry about that haha
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haha wow. i can really feel your pain on this one. I think that the flow was kinda iffy
but the inspiration was definitley there. it seems quite raw somehow.
This is really gonna be hard to judge :/
but i do really like this one, honestly.
i love how you say the jokes been played on me. that one line has so much meaning. like the whole poem would be different without it haha. hard to explain what i mean. but. i can definintney relate. cheers -
Oh, how love can get us caught up in some crazy games.
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amazing write. seeping with anger and frustration, alot of pure emotion is visible.
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Wonderful the picture described it so well. "I'm not sure what I want, but I know what I deserve
And from what's been said and done
The situation is relentlessly observed
I've got a few rehearsed last words and a perfect exit strategy
But when you look in my terrified eyes..." that was my favorite part :]]
thanks for entering my contest wish you the best of luck.
...<3..
Shelly -
I forgot to appalaude
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I loved the line "The desperation of yearning for a renewed heart will just have to wait". This was beautiful truly keep on writing your very talented.
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thats amazing
i almost teared but i can't cry so thats amazing that i felt ...thank you for this poem its exsactly how i feel...its the topic thats inspiring me too
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OK this hits really close because i am going through this with a friend and I am the one that wants things to be made right and she wants nothing to do with me she see's me in the wrong. And In reality we both had huge parts in this little twisted game she now plays with me! We were just friends but it still hurts when you loose a friend! on top of it were doing this missions trip together next week to texas....so I any ways enough vent this was sooooooo good the words flowed really well! And you painted a picture in my mind! you are really gifted! I am jealouse!
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Aw thanks !! :] & its fine haha we all need to vent
Feel free to any time you want♥
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AMAZING!
I love this poem over all, I love the feeling and the burn behind the words. Keep up the great work, simply amazing!
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smooth
You are one of the few younger writers that uses rhyming and It actually works. It doesn't sound forced. Has a sense of flowing to it.
I really like it.
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I'm definitely been into this situation before..and it's not a pretty position to be in..sometimes I wondered if our heart guide us to destruction?..This is a great piece
Keep writing!
Lieu
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Thanks a bunch yo
<3
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no prob. dude!
<3
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this is really good...love the flow and the theme is pretty good
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well,
being I am having this happening to me ummm....I hate ANYONE that decides they shall ruin a maybe good thing or thank you for taking away a loser
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100% beauty
I loved these lines
"The situation is relentlessly observed
I've got a few rehearsed last words;; && a perfect exit strategy
But when you look in my terrified eyes...
I realize the joke's been played on me"
more than the rest, I loved the whole thing thanks for entering
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ilovethisss
Ohh, Mandalicious, you are just so amazing at describing my feelings!!! This was honestly beautiful ..
*Because the damage you've left, it just isn't okay*
That line made me tear up. "We turned out just fine, though, in the end." God, we are so strong, do you realize that?
*Because from the very beginning,
I should've known you wouldn't always be around.*
Hah. Those lines have such irony in them because it's so bitterly true. No one is worth waiting for anymore.
*But when I look at you with distress in my eyes...
You decide to stay.*
Loved those lines, too. Even though we were unhappy, they stayed, and I know this is more about a recent someone than a past someone, but I took all these guys into consideration when I read it.
Couldn't they see that we were losing ourselves FOR THEM? Selfish bastards.
THIS WAS WONDERFUL. You really never fail to open my eyes with every poem you write. I never thought the day would come when I'd find someone who thinks just like me. Thank god for allpoetry!
<3333
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'I've got a few rehearsed last words;; && a perfect exit strategy
But when you look in my terrified eyes...
I realize the joke's been played on me
[It's been a disastrous && beautiful mistake from the very start]'
ooh! I don't know if this is fact or fiction but as soon as I read things like 'terrified eyes' something yells 'get out of there!'
This is a strong, powerful and well written piece, balanced by thoughts and feelings.The confusion and hurt are well expressed, all in all a great job.
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That was truly cleverly written
I felt like we were all grabbed by our throats, the imagery was truly vivid!
Way to write! and yes, let the complications begin..
way to write!
ears/Seattle strong and powerful imagery!
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