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Three year old chain smoker

Your smoke and mirrors grasp,
the titles of your art
stay within the lines
of your black and white
coloring book.

Author notes

Picture prompt

A contest entry

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Comments


  • notorious gold member
    June 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Like your verb usage in 'grasp'--that's a great word. 'The titles of your art' is definitely my favorite line and the whole thing was cohesive in its art theme.

    However, I feel like this could have been expanded. I know you hate (and feel like you can't) write long poems, but it really is not that hard. I think you could expand after 'the titles of your art...' Tell me what titles, tell me about the art...you have stoic emotion but almost no description.

    Sounds like a lot of criticism, but I think this is actually pretty good.


  • Weltt
    June 12, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Thought provoking with a powerful message for this picture. well penned!


  • crimsondew
    June 12, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Beautiful!

    This offers a very strong image..love this piece..All the best!