Yesterday, I was smoking
Clitoris with Boris
I blew the skin and whistled
I blew the skin and whistled
Then I punched him in the eye
and stole his boots & vodka'd
I vodka'd and whistled an ode
to subways and chain link fences
And Kamikaze pilots with
exciting nicknames like:
"He who smiles first wins"
"He who fucks fast wins"
"He that drops first gets nuked hairless"
"And so on and so forth"
"The man who stole the sun"
And my personal favourite
"You thought hell was hot"
It went:
Tweety'l de tweet
Tweety'l de twat
twin my fur cap
I shan't be cot
Because I'm a homespun honey
Smoking clitoris with a book in the den
I'm a hat pulled bunny
With the pipe pull and stink of 'Le bum de fen'.
Tweety'l de tweet
Tweety'l de twat
tug my thumb
smell my faut
faig le toot
le faigel le toot
Le toot faige
Le toot
toot.
The other day at Pinot, a famous restaurant
here in Hollywood, I pissed my pants laughing...
laughing at this blind guy that kept insisting
on going into the kitchen, and preparing his meal.
Then I realized he wasn't blind, he was deaf.
That's when I blew skin and whistled
That's when I vodka'd to a smoking clitoris
That was porus like pumice
With or without Boris
In a Subway full of Japs
& Backwards baseball caps.
Author notes
http://www.garageband.com/artist/The_Werewolves
P.s. KingDongBlaster is a cock smoker.
Written December 29th, 2003
In a list
A contest entry
- Band Names :) by LiveThroughThis.
301 points, ended June 11, 2004, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 28 of 28
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Very very intresting, Funny and morbid. winding anf twisting like the canyon rapids that hallow out the land called poetry. Excellent flow, rhyme, and emotion. Bravo
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This is a prety cool piece of writing - lots of energy and life, and great flow - it keeps the reader reading! *grins* and of course it gets the reader smiling!
All the best to you, Astral Wolf -
I agree, click on the garageband.com link in the author's comments, and vote for us by clicking on the chooza palooza link, we'd appreciate it, and feel free to give us a listening to.
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oops, sorry. I accidentally clicked on this...so I read it. I can see where this might be funny but I don't really get it and I kind of had a hard time getting thru the lanuage. I apologize for wasting your points. I'm going to applaud this to pay some of them back.
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Can I have what you're smoking please?
No... seriously, give it to me. GIVE ME!
Okay, very interesting poem. lol. Makes almost no sense at all, but there's a sense to be found in that. I suppose you have to be high to appreciate it... all the more reason to light up! -
And to think I don't usually read the authors comments!?! Fuckin' rollin'... You do have an interesting line of site on this...this...
yeah...
D -
Yes, masterfully queer indeed.
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Gay
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This certainly exceeds all the crap in the british charts at present. Great to stumble across something so ' vulgar ' and original on here. Made me giggle anyway. Sounds like a pretty off the wall experience........
~ sonia ~ -
erm, I wasn't too sure about this poem. I liked the name of the band, horus and the werewolves, but the poem was a little too [not sure what word I'm looking for here, haha!] for me... But thanks for entering my contest and good luck!
Amberle xoox -
fuck you and your "poem"
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good
This hold quite a lot of mental pictures... Amusing, but yet a very skilled write. Great Job -
This is hilarious...censorship sucks. And you seem as a comedian , especially with the bit about the blind man not being able to prepare his dinner, but he was deaf. Thank you very much for entering my contest as i enjoyed this piece...
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Oh man, I haven't laghed this hard in ages. I really liked the title alot, and the content was pretty awesome too
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Merely a movie allusion . . .
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Are you a warrior poet?
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Oh, lordie, What the fuck was I thinking?
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Thank you for taking the time to enter my contest, but I fear I will have to disqualify this. I did ask:
As always, keep it clean
Keep it funny
Keep it uplifting
And please be tactful
Again, I appreciate the thought, but I don't feel it fits with the parameters. -
Great dada rant. I feel like I am crucified on a kite in a storm of M&Ms and Krispy Kreme donuts. Flying through it mouth agape. Light and tight.
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(One of the funnest parts about reading your stuff is the comments... they make me giggle.)
Cool piece. I really like the ending bit (ok, I'll call it a "stanza"), it pulls it all together.
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yeah i feel like that just not as good at expressing it. feels like flyin reading your stuff.
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Whoa this was...um... interesting... It was good, and It kinda scared me at first... WhoA.. your more insane than I am, so pfft @ my insanity (take that as a compliment
!). So yea... i love squirrels, too, especially MY SQuirrel grabs her.. .
*~Fantasy~*
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Well, from the title, I thought it was going to be something about female circumcision. I was wrong.
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Are you sure you're not pissed about something? You seem edgy.
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that's just pretty......ummm....awfully.....chode stabbing.....you scare me go lick your nut sack so i can be relieved of your nubbin for a few more days.
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I love squirrels, naturally.
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woah.. just woah... this is truly insane!!! lmao, i loved it from beginning to end really i did. this is amazing i say. you forgot to put i love squirrels in your comments though, please do so i don't disqualify you. loved your poem g'luck your crazy! i like you already!
~squeekers, lord of the underworld squirrels has spoken~~ -
you are so cool
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1 - 28 of 28
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