Listen while you read
independentartistscompany.com/songs.aspx?SongID=4141&ArtistID=9993
Billy doesn't like to go to school.
He'd rather play hooky instead you see.
Mother drops him off at a quarter 'til 8:00,
But then he takes a cab into the city
You can tell that he's looking for something.
He waits at a park bench hoping his dad will walk by.
Leon lives deep in Sun Valley.
The largest trailer park in Washoe County.
We play Dungeons & Dragons every day.
He's the smartest kid that I've ever seen.
He's into Isaac Asimov, and J.R Tolkien.
Gave me the book Shardik, and it changed my life.
Sarah lives in a mortuary.
Her father sells death for a living you see.
She paints her nails black, and she wears it too.
The other kids call her "Vampire freak".
She writes to Anne Rice, each and every week.
I wrote to Stan Rice instead about 'Some Lamb'.
Jezebel doesn't sleep no more.
Her big brother knows what she's good for.
He tells her to "shut up", and "keep it down".
He has been doing this since mom went away.
Their father started it as a game they'd play.
Robbing them of any chance to be set free.
My life was all about moving around.
A pointless search were nothing and void were found.
Then I looked up with a laugh one day.
I had been staring that whole time at the ground.
And hanging around at the lost and found.
Sometimes you have to amputate your past to save today.
independentartistscompany.com/songs.aspx?SongID=4141&ArtistID=9993
Author notes
listen for free
independentartistscompany.com/songs.aspx?SongID=4141&ArtistID=9993
Written December 29th, 2003
In a list
A contest entry
- Let vampires and Anne Rice inspire you! by blood tourniquet.
300 points, ended July 12, 2006, 5 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 27 of 27
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Nice write there! These are some good lyrics! You are a great writer, i can see that!
Thank you for entering and good luck!
Blessed Be
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Exceptionally Good
Dark drawing power. Not my usual cup of tea, but very good imagery in places. I especially liked "Sometimes you have to amputate your past to save today."
Such a very true and bold statement. (easier said than done, in most cases) You sound like the kind of person who's just brave enough to succeed !!!
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Interesting. I like it. I like that part about the mortuary the best.
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I like the story of this piece. As far as lyrics go, that's far out of my realm. I did enjoy the read.
~Dee -
The town is Reno, genius.
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This is a good write, but one, couldn't get the song to play. Two, you have no town listed in your notes. Athena
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didnt quiet see where this was headed but it did portray some interesting images.
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nah my computer has no speakers - i think i have to get a flashy one before i go to uni though so that'll have sound and then I can listen but I am pretty fussy about music
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Have you heard my music, or read my book?
I'm sure that will cement your conundrum. -
Fair play then
Although all that "compress compress" stuff is completely subjective - I know when you write poems the ideal is normally to be brutal and "kill you darlings" but sometimes they're the most beautiful bits. Less is more is annoying. One flump is better than two flumps type bullshit.
That was kind though. Quite surprising because I thought you were the devil. -
You're a great writer.
I've liked your stuff for quite
Sometime. I tell you what
If it makes you feel better
if you go to that young
writer's (keljoed) homepage
the one I tongue lashed.
You will find something
Surprising about me.
I destroy to fix.
Like re-breaking a badly set
bone. -
Hmph.
-
Likewise.
-
I
looked
through
about
a
billion
of your
sections
searching
for
horseshit
and failed
Sir
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You are in a song writing category.
You might find more contemporary
Pieces in my contemporary section.
Otherwise you're reading the lyrics
rather from my first album. -
Bollocks - If I'm honest I was wishing that your writing would be horseshit so I could slag it off as you seem quite mean, up yourself and full of it. Unfortunately it's rather good - I mean the earth didn't move or anything but it's not too bad.
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There's a side order of rape in stanza 4.
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Hm... I'm not sorry if this really fits in my contest. However, if you would like to persuade me otherwise, please feel free to IM me. It's a good poem... just not really what I was looking for.
~Chaylee*Nicole~ -
Listen, i can tell you didnt read the rules also, because if you did you would not have entered this contest by, for and about asshats. You really should read the rules and description of the contest though, because they are immensely entertaining. So is this poem.
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This is just amazing. Nice work. Good luck and thanks for entering!
Sherri
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ummm, is that what you wanted?
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Ok... this IS your lyric, right? I'm just reading your last comment now and I'm like... um... ok...
Anyway, you didn't read the rules... I can tell!
Please go back and read them and edit your comment. Thanks you!
Kate
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The song is on gangbox.com under mp3s, and it does have a chorus I swear.
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I like the way you describe the people in your life, you really bring them to life. I especially liked the last stanza...a synopsis of your life with a bit of insight at the end.
Maureen
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I like your egyptian eye picture. Interesting lyrics too. I like how it tells a story.
~Amanda~ -
You mean the chorus?
~Amanda~ -
cool lyrics although wheres the main verse that usaully gets repeated
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