His eyes are reflected in the blade of the knife.
He hunts for something from which to take life.
His hunger for blood, as yet unsated,
he starves for the mayhem, that he once created.
His friends, his victims unaware,
their bodies hidden with such care.
His stay in prison did not deter,
and now, he sets his eyes on her.
She walks in moonlight, in the dark;
he follows her through the grassy park.
She looks behind,she doesn't see,
he's hidden himself behind a tree.
She walks on, still unknowing,
he watches her, sees where she's going.
He isn't going to strike tonight;
he wants this to be a game, a fight.
She walks into her well lit home,
he leaves her at the door, alone.
He has now seen where she lives.
He thinks of the pleasure her life will give.
The next day the police find him walking;
it seems he was turned in for stalking.
He and his plans go back to jail;
his plans this time, it seemed have failed.
Still, he continues to plan his crime.
His victim just has extra time.
She will soon be in her dying throes;
the best part is, she doesn't know.
Author notes
I just wanted to write a dark psychological piece. I thought it would be neat to write about a crime, or rather an attempted crime, from the criminal's point of view.
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Wow...I'm just in awe of your writing genius! I still think you should write as a carrer (on the side or something! Don't let it go to waste!) Amazing job
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a new take on psychological thrillers!
I totally see what you were trying to accomplish here, I hope. It all seems like a script for a movie. Everything but the rhyming. The title also seems like something from a movie. Like, "Scene 1 - Act 2" etc., etc. It was definitely something different and I commend you on your bravery to tread through unfamiliar areas. There is only room to get better and better. Great job! -
This was very well done I really enjoyed it. I love the rhyme scheme it made it flow well. It does seem to work well with the poem. I like the darkness of it as I write dark most times althought there are times when I don't. Good job on this it was well written and fun to read. Thank you for sharing this
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I think that your use of rhyme really disrupts your attempts to write something dark. If you are trying to be super creepy by combining a sing-song type of rhythm with a scary plot line, you still need to do some work as the effect is not coming through. If you would like a good read that accomplishes this well I suggest looking up the ever classic "Daddy" by Sylvia Plath. If you are trying to do something different with this write, I suggest not having a female victim.
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this made me laugh. very creative and good rhyming.
~Lae
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