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Heaven's Dew

Missing image

 


Here I am standing out in the road
Waiting for the heaven's to explode
To give birth to refreshing love
But I just see the sun shining above

But with a child-like faith I wait
Watching until the day gets late
And as the sun sets I'm still standing
But its something my soul is demanding

To feel the wind rush quickly by my face
And experience a tase of nature's grace
My soul waits to be released from slavery
But maybe I'm lacking the required bravery

And here it comes with a great rush
In that moment life stops with a hush..
Life whispered me something I sake
Telling me to stop being such a fake;

I'm the biggest lier of all mankind
Because who I am you would never find
But the biggest truth that I was told
One of life's truth I shall always hold:

Let her go and you will find what you seek
What you hold onto is just making you weak...



 

Author notes

Option 1: Heaven
Picture from: http://yaninah.deviantart.com/art/Before-The-Rain-59199737
Background: Created in Photoshop CS. Feel free to use if you'd like.

This poem has a lot of different meanings. Its half person, its also advice to others... This poem has a spiritual side, but doesn't have to be spiritual if you don't want it to be.

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 23 of 23

  • condor gold member
    August 21, 2008

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    I love this poem a lot. Yep, it says something quite different to me. Something i don't think you intended it too, but that is the nature of poetry, isn't it. I love the way you set things out and always put yourself on the end that was getting kicked. You have a great way of expressing emotions and delivering them to the reader. I do love that picture you put there. It is so serene. Is that in your home town? I found this poem to be a splendid read with much to say. Well done!


  • Guardian of Shadows
    August 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I really like this. In line 11 I think you mean taste? Not sure though >.> Either way, I really love this. I'm able to picture everything throughout the piece. Nice work ^^


  • Scarlet
    July 18, 2008

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    Omg your writing is incredible. Unlike most of this childish dark writing I find on this site. bravo.


  • luna-midnight gold member
    July 17, 2008

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    awwww..omg this is so wonderful, you are such a talented perosn between art and poetry and being caring *hugs*
    keep writting and all, stay well
    stephanie ♥


  • DestinyLies
    June 21, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    OMG Tim!!! It almost made me cry I love the pic and background as well. BRAVA BRAVA!!!!


  • Sanguinarius
    June 21, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This is awesome, excellent work on both the poem and the graphics ~Bret~

  • Jude Ashdown
    June 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Im pretty impressed with this poem and especially like the last lines. I promise Ill read some more of your stuff when I have the time as I can see you have stuff there to discover


  • Beauty Of Silence
    June 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow!

    This is a mindblowing poem! i love it so much! Wise words too... your background is simply stunning! The picture was a refreshing touch to this poem... and your poem itself was amazing!!! i love this so much! >.< keep writing kays!


  • Walk-Free
    June 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    a beautiful poem

    i prefer to put this under 'spiritual'; this is very inspirational indeed.

    you did great with the beautiful picture, and the rhyme wasn't too bad (:

    cool background...x

    thank you and best of luck


  • Freed by Mercy silver member
    June 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    First of all, I would suggest that you read Micol's three articles on compression, beginning with this one:
    http://allpoetry.com/column/2340583

    Micol is a retired literary professor who has published. In my opinion, he is in the top 5 of the best poets I have read on this site. Both his rhyme and free verse is terrific!

    I say this because I see a lot of excess words in this write which interrupt the imagery and metric flow. Also, it seems to me that this poem follows the rhyme, rather than the other way around. It drifts, so I cannot really know for certain what you are trying to say. It leaves me feeling frustrated.

    I'll try condensing a stanza of this. I don't think I can help you with the direction the poem is going, though.

    "To feel the wind rush quickly by my face
    And experience a tase of nature's grace
    My soul waits to be released from slavery
    But maybe I'm lacking the required bravery"

    "Feel the wind upon my face;
    taste the dew of nature's grace,
    cheer release from slavery;
    fear I lack the bravery."

    Seven syllables per line with a definite meter:
    DUH duh DUH duh DUH duh DUH

    Stanza 4, line 3:"sake" do you mean "sought"

    I hope this helps.






  • Angelflower
    June 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This was really good hun..
    Very moving and yes...
    Inspirational...
    You did such a lovely job with prompt..
    Very emotional as well as insightful..
    Bravo.. Best of luck..


    Angel

  • Rianna Bear
    June 12, 2008

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    not only was the bg amazing, but your write was amazing too!!! loved every piece of it and how you were able to speak words of great imagery! good luck to ya.

    ♥rianna


  • warrior-eagle
    June 11, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Oh and I forgot... I really like the background too

  • warrior-eagle
    June 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Who said it wouldn't be enough?
    I certainly disagree, it is more than enough.
    In my opinion is more than good.
    In my opinion it is very sweet, very...really good,
    and I really like it. This isn't bad at all, you just have bad vision or something cause this is really amazing

1 - 23 of 23