Running through the fields.
She wants to get away.
She uses the forest as a shield.
Where she is, she doesn't want to stay.
Over the hills.
Over the mountainous terrain.
The quietness of nature instills.
She doesn't want to go back from where she came.
On a hot summer night, you may see her on the path.
To try to discover something still unknown.
Like a ghost, trying to escape the world's wrath.
Endlessly searching for her home.
Author notes
This is what came to me when I looked at the picture. I kind of see her as a lost soul or a person searching for something in life, or perhaps as a form of energy searching for something in death or in another life. Just some thoughts that came to me.
A contest entry
- 216th Contest by Tarja.
450 points, ended June 13, 2008, 7 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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On My Way To Me!
I found a "Me"...who was just like Me. I want another life....not better than this one... not worse than this... just a new life....................
great poem Mary, you draw colors with words. You put soul in thoughts. You make dreams alive. Everything you touch turns into Happiness.
"On a hot summer night, you may see her on the path.
To try to discover something still unknown."
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thanks, Jeet. I had a sense of a spirit or ghost running through woods when I wrote this. like a spirit or ghost who is lost between worlds and isn't sure where to turn. Thanks for reading and commenting.
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Hoodwinked!
Great word choice here, paints a very vivid picture that makes it very easy to walk through in our minds.
Shari
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Thanks, Shari. I appreciate all the awesome comments and insight.
Haley Mary
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Wonderful
A very creative piece. And so deserving of the gold. Congratulations.
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Thanks.
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I haven't seen the Picture but i can see your words throughout this piece. Nicely done
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Aw, I'm so bad at replying late to comments.
Thanks, Belle. Glad you could see the imagery throughout the piece. I like to try to bring the words to life on paper, so it's great when images come to people's minds. Thanks for the comment.
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Your rhymes pleased me a lot. Of all your beautiful words, the verse "where she is, she doesn't want to stay" i think it's the best. Really made me feel connected to your poem and feeling the way that woman felt, running away from herself into the nature
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Yeah, I tried to convey a feeling of not so much a fear of where this person is, but kind of like a wanting to escape from the mystery in life and to discover more, if that makes sense. Thanks for the comment.
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Oh, I see why this won gold! It's wonderful. You have a gift for painting raw imagery and doing it well.
Love,
Amera
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Thanks, Amera. Yeah, this was actually my first gold trophy I won during my nearly five years at AP. A milestone for me.
I'm glad you appreciated the imagery. I tried to word it to create an image in the mind of the reader and kind of add in a bit of mystery into it, as well. Thanks for the comment.
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Nice poem
I sometimes feel like I am the person who you're writing about. "Like a ghost trying to escape the world's wrath".
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Thanks. Glad you could relate to the poem. Like I said in the author notes, I'm not sure what I thought the woman to be like. Either a person searching for something in life, or searching for something in a past life. Thanks for the comment.
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Amazing
This poem is amazing! The imagery is so clear and beautiful. I love the element of mystery and escape. Beautiful poem. I love the last stanza the best, but the whole thing is great! Keep up the great work!
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Thanks. Glad you liked it. Thanks for stopping by my page and commenting. I appreciate it.
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I really love what you did with this it was fantastic. I think that it probably could have used a tad bit more imagery but overall I think you just did such a wonderful job stringing together her possible persona. Well done. Thanks so much for entering and good luck.
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Oops, sorry. Meant to say, thanks for the gold trophy. Ha, haven't been on here enough lately and didn't notice it until I submitted my comment.
Thanks, again.
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Thanks, Ashleigh. Thanks for the constructive criticism, as well. I'll try to use a little more imagery when I write poems like this in the future.
Thanks for the comment and the wish of luck.
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This is very intuitive. YTou have captured a great deal of human nature in a few short verses. Wow. Great job.
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Thanks, Allan.
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wow this is awesome, I haven't seen the picture, but I can picture it in my mind. Wonerful write, love the imagery, good luck!!
Blessings,
~Michaela~
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Thanks, Michaela. The picture is in the contest if you want to try to understand how I wrote the poem. Glad you liked it. Thanks for the comment.
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I don't even need to see the pix to see this lost soul. Well written.
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Thanks, Buddy.
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I like your take on the picture, she very well could be a lost soul escaping from the reality of where she came from. Thanks for sharing and good luck in the contest.
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Thanks, Charley.
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