As autumn laid a meadow bare
the beauty of its leafy fare
lay crisp and dying-unaware
that winter chills had claimed its air.
Then all too soon as if to chide
a barren-ness it could not hide,
a crisp white snow by light of moon
fell silently around the gloom,
claiming the lea to the smallest dune
and benches where young lovers spoon.
The morrow sings as it all takes flight
when sun erupts to challenge the night
with an orchestra of sheer delight,
melting droplets,rippling streams,
colour fades with the last moonbeams.
Snow of the canopy freshly mown,
trees once more all skin and bone,
made ready for the twilight zone.
Beatrice Evans
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Very early winter, I would guess from under my four-foot drifts!
And that's just a start. Two winters ago the snowbanks grew too tall to accept more shovelled snow. No one could throw that high!
It was evocative, a sure sign of a well-written poem.
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Thank you, we don't get winter snow here... except in the mountains...sub tropics of Australia.
I was remembering my England and those freezing unwanted winter days.
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Close to the mark!
Your work has potential. I look at the rhyme scheme and meter and word choice and see some room for improvement. But, you have the essence of a poem with the visual imagery and emotional tone. I suspect, that you will learn very fast. The same areas that I struggle to work within are the ones that I know you will master.
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I just love poetry about nature. Such a beautiful landscape you paint here with words, even the desolation.
"Spoon" is a very old fashioned word, lol. It always reminds me of the song "By the Light of the Silvery Moon" but it does rhyme well.
My favourite line is "as the sun arrives to challenge the night."
My only critique is that I thought the title could have been more, I don't know, descriptive maybe.
Very nice write...alby
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