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class of '08




it was just a field where
the boys played football
and the crowd cheered-
even when they lost.
the bleachers were
hot under our skin and
the wind was messing
up the photograph. “one
more time” they said.
just once more.




























Author notes

not exactly a metaphor- and there may be some slant rhyme- but I know you still love me Di...right?

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • Lyndon gold member
    June 15, 2008

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    Most lines

    agree with my oral reading of this vers libre but two do not and therefore give a prosaic effect.
    I appreciate how well suggestiveness, simply put, has echoes of larger scope.
    Ejoyed reading this. Lyndon of the Winklings.


  • Dienush
    June 12, 2008

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    'course I do!
    Really the "no rhyming" rule meant "no forced end-line rhyming"... but so many don't know the difference I didn't bother. The metaphor thing wasn't all that strict, I like your talent at painting such realistic images and events. This poem sounds nostalgic and I love the cohesion of it, both thematically and stylistically. I really wish I could write such poetry, that really says something and is creative, and without using fancy techniques. Love the simplicity of this, even if it's only slightly around the theme. Thanks for entering my contest


  • lively banter
    June 12, 2008
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    lovely

  • March Muffin
    June 12, 2008

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    okay nevermind. I know that's not what you meant, but it's what I saw. I'm being a little, TOO sentimental, I think.


    • zillion
      June 12, 2008
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      lol, no you're not. I find it sentimental too- and I wrote it. But there were a lot of memories on that field, which we also graduated on. So it was sad.

      You graduate in June? Thats awful late.

  • March Muffin
    June 12, 2008
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    My last day of high school EVER was today, so this really hit me hard. It was *just* a field but you can tell how many more memories than you can ever explain that field actually contains. What a beautiful snapshot of a spirited football game, and then good use of photography at the end. I keep envisioning my own high school. Terrific write.


  • Rianna Bear
    June 11, 2008

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    ok. was wondering if there was another meaning to this....graduation. ok, yessss, a moment when football is finally put aside and academics takes over! cool!

    ♥rianna

    • zillion
      June 11, 2008

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      lol, my graduation was on our football field. Thanks for the comment.

1 - 9 of 9