If you don’t love me, I will have to say
I might just slit your throat today.
You will not be happy with the pain you endure.
I lean against the wall and watch you suffer.
You only have one choice, your best interest in mind.
Love me, or deep pain you will find.
I’m not really asking you for that much,
I just crave your loving touch.
Author notes
photo prompt: unknown (view picture at http://allpoetry.com/contest/2409335 )
10 lines
option: *1.Something dark. Anything that will send chills down my spine.
rule 6. Put "!!!RAINBOWS AND STUFF!!!"
A contest entry
- love me or else by patsoldcat.
700 points, ended June 26, 2008, 8 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - lotsa points!!!! (extended time! I want as many entries as possible!) by DogTagz-TheJalapeno.
800 points, ended August 9, 2008, 52 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - murder PW ALLOWED!! by callmeZakk.
500 points, ended July 3, 2008, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Turn your Green Trophies into Bronze, Silver or Gold (4) by FloridaGatorQueen.
425 points, ended August 5, 2008, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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wow
thats a really deep poem i like it alot,, it has alot of emotion to it
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This is a really cool poem. I like the intensity in this poem. Enjoyed the read! Thank you for entering my contest.
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i really liked this one.it had feelings and i love poems like this one. good luck on the contest
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Haha, this is funny in a really sadistic way.
Therefore, I like it.
=]
Your diction is sometimes obviously misplaced to make
the rhymes work.
Perhaps if you tried using a bit more difficult of a rhyme,
you wouldn't run into that problem.
And "endure" and "suffer" aren't perfect rhymes,
so they stick out from the rest of the poem.
But, who am I to talk.
I understand how difficult rhyming poems can be to compose,
so I generally just stick to free writes.
So, again, I guess I'm not really in any position to judge.
Either way, brilliant idea
and great write.
Good luck in the contest. =]
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lol u sound like my bffl desiree
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AWWWW! I loved that! It was so...awesome. Thats the kind of stuff im into when it comes to most poetry!!! Your poem shows that you arent affraid to go on the edge for love and that is real man! Keep doing what you are doing and good luck on the contest!
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first read
wow, an interesting take on the photo,
to remember that you always hurt the one you love.
good write.
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wow, how very dark, i realy enjoyed reading this poem it was a very good write, good luck in the contest
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*gulps* MOMMY!! *shiftyeyes
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yikes. this totally sounds like a creepy ol stalker!!! make sure to stay clear of this person
LOVE ME OR ELSE was captured very well in this thriller!
♥rianna
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Wow I can see the imagery in this poem. Great job.
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HAHAHA
good job
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nice poem
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This is powerful, eerie and funny all in one. Love it!
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first edit
THANK YOU FOR ENTERIING. -
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I added some punctuation and took out a few extra words I didn't need, they might have been a bit cliche.
Thank you ~Amy
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