Time is a cat,
independent
marching forward
despite other's wants and desires.
Softly it moves
silently in the background
unobtrusively
moving to its own rhythm
measured but uncontrolled by man
Funny,
it seems to change
sometimes running so fast
it passes us by
and sometimes
so slow that we think it will never arrive.
Time is a cat
sleek black and silent.
Class exercise
Comments
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I have to say that I really like this, particularly because of the strong and unique metaphor that you use. The poem also flows very well; you did a great job with giving it a nice rhythm even without a set meter. Since you have this in "critical" I'm going to try and give a few suggestions even though I think the poem is great. First, the title is obviously fitting; however because that phrase is used to open and close the poem it might be more effective to come up with another title that still makes sense with the poem but is a little deeper or less repetitive (that might be just my opinion so don't even consider changing it if you like it). Also, there are a couple punctuation suggestions I would take a look at. Sometimes you use commas and sometimes you seem to deliberately leave them out; I don't know if there is a purpose for this but it is unclear and the inconsistency is a little jarring. One small thing is that for "despite other's wants and desires," the apostrophe would go on the other side of the "s" because "others" would be plural. As I said, very small edits and the poem is fantastic either way. Good job on a very nice poem!
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Good Analogy
I really liked this analogy. It makes a lot of sense. I've never thought of how a cat could personify time. I liked the form as well. The variation in the length of the lines made the poem easier to read.
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