I must get this place ready
they want to show today.
There are things I must do
and do without delay.
Out on the porch I see
a nail I must embrace.
A well-placed foot will get
a board right in the face.
Dog poo on the carpet,
baby food on the walls;
and how about dead mice,
quick before they call!
The banister needs some care
loosen it real good
when I am through with them
they'll think this is the Hood!
Good thing the mower's broken
the grass is nice and high.
Once they see this mess
they'll run without goodbye.
But wait, what do I see
this mess in front of me?
I don't want to live here
I THINK I SEE A FLEA!!!!!
A contest entry
- HELP WANTED!!! BIG POINTS by Recluse Writer.
3500 points, ended June 13, 2008, 15 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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LOL.... all that mess and have to itch, too? ugh!
For some reason this reminded me of going to a friend's house one day because I got sick with a monstrous migraine and could not drive the thirty miles home.
He is the sort of guy who runs with boundless energy, has a booming laugh, and sings Broadway showtunes while he fixes hinges on a kitchen cupboard. He never sat still. So of course, he's busy, but he took time to find me a pillow and an afghan and led me to the couch. I was nauseous, my vision was compromised by lights that kept going off like flash bulbs before my eyes, and I sunk onto the couch so gratefully. Then he said, "Oh, by the way, I've got a rat, but there's a trap set, so if you see one, don't get scared."
"Just what I need to hear, I moaned. "In this condition if I see one, it's going to look like six!" My stomach was doing flip flops...and he was grinning happily. You'd a thought that rat was a pet. He bounded off into the kitchen. The living room spun and I closed my eyes tight, wishing for oblivion...best not to know if I had any scurrying visitors!
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lolz. Oh my my, haha... brilliant poem. I started smiling at the beginning and totally laughed at the near end. Loved this piece.
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Oh grandma, this poem is so wonderful poem.
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Oh my mama!!
This is cute and I like the rhyme and the flow. Sorry it took me so long to read this. I have a habit of letting poems build up before I critique them. yes, I know naughty me! holds out my hand to be slapped. Anyway, um are you buying this house or selling it? cause if it has fleas and you are wanting to buy it, i say, forget it and burn it down later and use it for firewood for a weanie roast, and if it's your house. .... DON'T TELL EM!! 
z mama! Great job once again
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It reminds me the movie - the money pit =P I could actually see the house with the words your written - and everything rhymed and flowed great too. wow
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Hehehehehe I love that movie. Yes, that would stop me from shelling out hard-earned dough for a house. lol Thanks.
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LOL awesome job!
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My house is by no means a mansion either but I call it home. I hope you do well in the contest.
Sincerely,
Leo Long
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Chuckling at your final stanza Yep that is definitely on the cards IF I have to keep letting people through here.
Looove the board on the porch one...
I have not even got a mower let alone worry about how long the grass is
Thanks immensely for taking time to help me out here.
Wishing you all the best come judging.
Linda
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Thank you. I really hope you find some serious ideas here. I wouldn't want to lose my home either. God bless. Patricia
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Thanks Paticia...the owner just told me today they had NO IDEA that soooooo many had even come through looking...the agent had not informed them
So at least now I have the right to tell them to buzz off without at least 48 hours notice.
Small mercies but is better than how it has been over past months.
Cheers
Linda
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Certainly lots of great ideas to put off lookers
Thanks for your entry and good luck
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LOL... what a fun write to read... Well done and best of luck... (or should that be worst... now I'm confused)
Ken
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HEHEHE... I like this write!!! You did a great job on this one Gramma... First it seemed like you were trying to get it fixed up, then you changed directions!!! Good luck in the contest!!!
Hugs,
Beth -
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Hehehe Thanks, Beth. I just had so much fun with this contest. I had no idea trashing a house would be this fun.
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