softly he dreams
of a life so sweet...
as he seems
to drop to his ill-faded knees
gently he closes his eyes
as the memories seem to fade
like his tears caught in her lies
like his heart once again betrayed
T........
E.......
A......
R.....
D....
R...
o..
P.
S
seemed to streak
in a steady line
down his pale cheek
and die upon lips so soft and divine
A contest entry
- 15/10 PIF (prompt up) by Lady Australis.
800 points, ended June 12, 2008, 14 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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I like how you wrote teardrops...
like the actual path of a teardrop..
its really nice, i've read this more than once.. i really enjoy it
much talent...Great Mind
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this is beautifully written its sad but lovely. you'r use of words and vocabulary is really wonderfull
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This was great!! I loved it!!! Your an amazing poet Jordan. Don't doubt that!!! This was very good. I realy enjoyed reading this. I hope things work out for you in the end. Great detail and description. Good flow. there was strong emotion here.
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thats so sweet i loved it so simple but so good
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The word choice was very good, and I like the style. The last line brings this poem to an amazing close...great job!
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I love your poem its simple and direct. Unlike me you can make since of what u write. Work on your puncuation.
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wow i love your poem its realy good write some more poems and keep up the good work
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this was a really great write
teardrops are what keep us together
lol idk im bored
but really awesome poem dude
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omg soooo gud man I LOV IT...... ur really good at writing poems ..... i can really relate to them
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Bay! OhEmGee! I love this 2 pieces ... This is ... fantastic ... it r 1 of my favorites. Can I keep it? *points to heart* Right here?
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fade. . .
lies protect people from things they dont want
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hey goober
havent talked to you in a while
nice poem
lovely write my love! -
Wow this is wonderful. I love the way you did the teardrops like \/ shape
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So sad
Congrats on gold :]
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I really liked this. My favorite lines were the last 2 in the second stanza. Awesome job.
XXCrimsonRaineXX -
i really liked this it was very pretty.
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this is really pretty
i love it well done n goodluck -
aww hunni
this is really good. keep up the good work.. i wanna see more.. but some happy peices too. and about me
no its brilliant really well done xx love u xx
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aww this is really good teddy,
i love this piece of writing,
im always here for you ily ok?
all my love,
kitty xx
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