Oh God
I cart my prayers
you are gaining access to them
yet, I am not receiving the responses
maybe you are busy
however, If you contemplate that
you may begin replying to my words
when you have free time
then, let me tell you
that there is a contrast between
yours and my time
I hold counted breaths
while you enclose numberless
Oh God...
Author notes
2. I breathe differently than you
In a list
A contest entry
- Anything to Inspire a Lost Soul by SoftlyScreaming.
1200 points, ended June 29, 2008, 41 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Options I think are unique by bird at rose.
1000 points, ended August 26, 2008, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Even with my 'no spiritual' rule, yours is fine as it has no positions, in my next contests I'll also clarify
Wow, I can very easily capture what you're comparing for my prompt, which gives some detailed thought... and "I cart my prayers" is interesting along with the ending that says "breath," they have a similarity in substantive concept. The two phrases, I think combine into each other with speaking to the one who created the capability to live, while making a personal relationship through calling out to Him. And, the image of a large basket itself charts the difference that He can reckon his own answers etc, though scaled with what we can do, we're way off.
The line, "maybe you are busy" reminds me of how He doesn't always act right away, and we're supposed to have faith that He will show us a large door with foundation soon if we become nearer to Him. Verse seven, eight have a contemplative relaxation as He works around when to solve, seeing past 24 hrs.
Maybe some would see "while you enclose numberless" as 'none,' but I noted it as being so vast it's incomprehensible the things God can do and take care of. The picture is resembling, because even though I doubt there are any circumstances where you can hold a developed baby that tiny in proportion, the earth with us are in His hand so to speak. (this motif care is female, but it generalizes the humungous delicateness)
I like your pensive interpretation, thanks for entering about the status of answering our cries,
Daisy -
this was a very personal poem, i can tell.. i hope you're alright.. thanks for entering and good luck.
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What a wonderful poem! Such depth and beauty... You are growing as a poet and you are revealing beauty in your words... Well done.
Ken
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This hit me very hard
I know with any child it hits me hard and to see the words numberless I break down completly for it reminds me of those sweet babies from mothers who cares for nothing at all but themselves . The children forgotten in time this should never be never be as long as there are those out here like me who would give them the very best
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the lessons of learning God's will and unfolding. thanks.
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This is good, very strange and chilling. However, your omission of some words is a little jarring - it should be "you may begin replying to my words" and "I hold counted breaths" not "breathes" I believe. I very much like the idea of you "carting" your prayers though. Good write.
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This brought me chills my friend...Very powerful message heard from this piece
then, let me tell you
that there is a contrast between
yours and my time
I hold counted, breathes
while you enclose numberless
Oh God...
And I love the picture'soooo cute'..very spiritual poem
Ruby
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