Sir Jeffry the most gallant knight
Got a fever and so lost his sight
Now he rides through the glade
With his shield and his blade
Just begging for someone to fight
Victoria was a princess
Who loved eating quite to excess
And she took laxitives
For the pleasure it gives
When expelled from down under her dress
A demon laid siege to the city
He chose poorly, and it was a pity
With one thing in mind
He just wanted to find
A virgin who was very pretty
All maids were brought in short to tall
All naked except for a shawl
The demon inspected
And each was rejected
There weren’t any virgins at all
But, Victoria was a no show
So he told all the guardsmen to go
To fetch her right back
Because it was a fact
That she was a virgin, you know!
She’d attempted to become a sinner
But, no man had ever been in her
Though many had tried
She was always denied
As each one in turn upchucked his dinner
So, she figured out how she could cope
And tied a lasso in a rope
And thus went the maid
To the heart of the glade
And Sir Jeffry, her very last hope
She was found in the glade on her back
So, guards brought Victoria back
She eagerly pointed
But was disappointed
When none of the guards would attack
The demon was insanely pissed
When he found that Victoria’d been kissed
He once more inspected
And this time selected
For blind old Sir Jeffry had missed
He laughed with a demonic roar
She protested, “No! I’m a whore!”
The demon just smiled
And then after a while
He said, “Girl, he went in the out door!”
Author notes
These names were selected randomly and bear no resemblance to anyone living or dead.
In a list
A contest entry
- MY FIRST CONTEST--MAKE ME PEE MY PANTS. JOIN IN THE FUN by PoeticLove.
600 points, ended June 24, 25 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - xxxPERVERTEDxxxFAIRY TALESxxx ~ADULTS ONLY~ by voodoo ink.
1750 points, ended June 16, 9 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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fake virgins just piss me off....
but other than that I loved your poem.
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hehe.... very funny. I like this poem.
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This piece made me chuckle, I wonder why I loved it so much?
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The only virgin left was the fat ass of Victoria...well, guess she felt the devils shaft,uh...I mean his wrath
...love this piece...
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oh and BTW who took the picture of you in that attire???Thats not Sir Jeffry!!! IMPOSTER!
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Then find me a better one.
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Oh dear Allan this indeed was humorous, and indeed shall receive something a little more intriguing later on. Thanks for making me puke and all over Candaces shoes. But, It was funny once I had me a laxative
Bravo here
PAssions
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NASTY,
or, as my mother would say, NASSY! How could you enter this obnoxious, discusting low-down 'crappy' poem into my unadulteratd contest? Why I never , well, maybe a few random encounters!!! very funny, if you like smut on an 'A' level, that is.
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LOL. This was truly funny. I like the tale you weave here. And you're quite welcome
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LOL, you did an absolutely wonderful job of penning a humorous tale about fictional people. Funny fairy tales are wonderful and make people happy.
Love,
Amera♥
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