Drifting aimlessly now that she's gone
What is the point? why should I go on?
Lying alone and awake in my bed
Going over and over the things that she said
"It's not you, it's me" and all of that bull
So very clichéd, and horribly dull
It doesn't fit in with the pain that I feel
If you must break my heart then at least make it real
I'll show her I love her, then she'll take me back
No - I'll fuck it all off, and start smoking crack
Perhaps that's the way to stop all the pain
By pouring the rest of my life down the drain
Fuck her, the bitch, I don't give a fuck
If the sickening whore wants a new cock to suck
But that's not true, I love her, can't cope on my own
No-one else cares, without her I'm alone
And there's just one release from this pain deep inside
The only way out will be my suicide
So I grab a razor, put it to my wrist
she was all I had, so I doubt I'll be missed.
Author notes
To be honest I was just having a bit of a laugh with this one.
A contest entry
- Suicide Solution by Blood Magick.
540 points, ended July 26, 2008, 83 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
-
I so love this...because its just totally something i can relate to (even though im a girl) in the sense when something has hurt me im always thinking"Fuck her, the bitch, I don't give a fuck"
I loved the rhyme and i did have a chuckle with this line "I'll show her I love her, then she'll take me back
No - I'll fuck it all off, and start smoking crack
"
-
Excellent
Imagery, rhythm and rhyme are just fine.Glad you were just having a laugh with this one. Suicide is very painful on those left behind. I know because many years ago a friend of mine did just that. Yet fortunately I had an amazing experience: imagenary or real, matters not, since it helped ease the pain. See my poem "Bridges". Here's the link to it:
http://allpoetry.com/poem/4301709 -
-
Thanks for your comment. I'm fortunate enough to have never been touched by suicide in my own life, but I did write a fair bit of suicidey, teen angst, everyone hates me poetry in my younger years, and I wrote this as a kind of parody of my former style (hence the ill-fitting, bouncy couplet rhyme scheme). Thus exorcising my former teen angst poet, who just isn't me anymore. Or something.
-
-
Aye, I understand. I've exorcised enough of my own daemons over the years.
-
-
-
LOL -
Goodness! Well, the .... rhyme was nice and the irony was perfect. Good luck in the contest!!
-
the rhymes are realy good
and the overall poem is pretty good
the 7th stanza is the best part
Adding your comment:
1 - 6 of 6
