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Heart Songs

Gently your lips kiss my hand
And my heart sings melodies for you
You say you'll always be my man
Promise me you're forever true

And my heart sings melodies for you
Songs of life and lust and love
Promise me you're forever true
That your devotion's from above

Songs of life and lust and love
Escape my heart, escape my lips
That your devotion's from above
The source of all my hopeless bliss

Escape my heart, escape my lips
The tune crescendos as our lips meet
The source of all my hopeless bliss
Sending dancing rhythms to my feet

The tune crescendos as our lips meet
You say you'll always be my man
Sending dancing rhythms to my feet
Gently your lips kiss my hand

A contest entry

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Comments


  • Little Eagle Greeters member
    June 26, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Thank you for your entry

    Lovely, yes we all want a guarentee when it comes to love as we are so afraid to be hurt. In the end it is part of life.

    Excellent job on the form. Your rhyme scheme is very good. Nice flow and structure.

    I encouage you to keep writing to read and comment.

    God Bless
    Tammy


  • Shya
    June 17, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This is a beautiful and well-written pantoum. I've tried to write one before and found it quite difficult, and here you've even managed to make it rhyme! I love the second stanza. The only criticism I will make is that the rhythm is slightly uneven in some lines, like the line 14. Overall, a good write.