Caresses speak touches of untruths
while derelict thoughts flee through closed lids -
Words of forevermore fall on lost ears
as blind stare focuses on dreamed hopes ...
You search crevices for stumbling blocks,
I lower my eyes as a sigh escapes:
my weaknesses will never be hidden
behind masked gazes of ineptitude
through windows tinted green.
Author notes
prompt: anything about eyes
A contest entry
- Eyes by BabyBun.
450 points, ended June 19, 2008, 36 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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This is so full of allusion that I don't know where to start ...
While this poem is about eyes the line "while derelict thoughts flee through closed lids" shows that, even when we may want to hide something, it still escapes.
Great thoughtful poem.
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Wow. Nice. Loved the word choice...really shows a lot to the reader. Caught me with the first line and drew me in even further with the rest. Definitely a winner.
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mmm..I lowered my eyes as well. I love that this gives like a mix of emotions here. I'm not exactly sure how to explain it but I am sure that you know.
Very well done!
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Well done with this my friend, yopu have captured true beauty in these words....and to think, it's not dark
Good luck
**Ktulu Blackwolfe** -
I love this - it has real warmth and soul. Thanks and good luck!
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What a beautiful image... I vote "eye" for this penning (LOL)... Wonderfuly done... Best of luck.
Ken
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It's hard to hide what's in the eyes... "derelict thoughts flee through closed lids" and those blank stares that see something beyond the issues of the moment..unreachable!
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