Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

The Truth

As I look deep into them

I start to realize the true

Meaning of your real eyes

 

I see the flames of evil,

Pain and sorrow settling

Inside your pupils

 

You are wicked and cold

I get shivers down my

Spine as I stare you in the eyes

 

As you blink, I witness the

Hurt and betray you have

Felt over the past years

 

You are disgusting, to

Have let others take over

Your soul

 

My body comes to a complete freeze

Whenever you look at me through

The windows of your body

Author notes

Prompt: Eyes

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • Strify
    June 18, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    That was amazing! You're really good!


  • SpiritDarkmaiden
    June 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow, I love the darkness to this poem. Everything you see through their eyes, the flames of evil. The imagery was great and the words flowed nicely. Great write! Thanks for entering and good luck.

    Bloody wishes


  • stoli
    June 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow. Chilling. The last stanza especially. Also, I really liked the way you split your lines -- particularly the "You are wicked and cold" stanza.

    Thank you for entering.


  • maralisa silver member
    June 13, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I see the flames of evil,

    Pain and sorrow settling

    Inside your pupils



    You are wicked and cold

    I get shivers down my

    Spine as I stare you in the eyes



    As you blink, I witness the

    Hurt and betray you have

    Felt over the past years very deep poem and a nice border good luck in the contest


  • Meroza
    June 13, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    A nice way to capture the feelings, keep it up


  • XXxXBassMeisterxXxX
    June 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful write. I like how it explains the person changing over time. Becoming purely soulless. Beautiful job. I love the pic of the eyes.... It truly captured my attention to read it. It was moving.

1 - 6 of 6