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Love Waits

I'm here, I'm right next to you
can't you feel my heartbeat too?
my arms are folding around you in a warm embrace
can't you feel my breath upon your sweet face?

Don't cry, you know I don't like you being sad,
rejoice! I want you to be glad
for I am in a much better position now
to fulfill my one and only vow:

To love you forever, until the earth dies
to be there for you when the air sounds with your cries
I'm here, don't cry, I'll gently wipe away your tears
and I'll be here forever, through all of your years

I'm one of God's angels now, I'm looking after you always
my white wings enveloping you, keeping you safe through all days
and I'll be waiting in heaven at the white pearly gates
waiting forever because forever, love waits.

Author notes

4. GUARD. Or guardian, I suppose. Just give me something interesting to read.

7) Make me cry. [[Which is very hard, if you acually do it, you will DEFINATLY get a place.]]
“Gummy bears will soon take over the world”

Option 3
2 : missing a loved one/loss of a loved one

Hope you feel better Misty Melody; the lost are never really lost until you make it so. Smile once more.
This isn't really a prewrite: I wrote it especially for this contest but you said that you'd accept one prewrite and one new so I wrote this one as a prewrite and then entered it. Hope that makes sense somehow!

Let me know what you think.

A contest entry

what do you think?

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 42 of 42

  • Midnight00Angel
    December 13, 2008
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    Wow!

    This is beautifully penned....you have a lot of talent for one so young..


  • Rhythm Child
    November 17, 2008

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    Thankyou so much for entering
    i do not beleive in luck but i beleive in talent and it is a quality that will win this contest

    message me for anything
    Billy (Rhythm Child)


  • grannyeri gold member
    September 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Writing so well for a teenager - nice to see teens using this site and expressing themselves so well. Liked the flow, rhythm and rhyme in these lines. Sentiments expressed so well here.


  • maa gold member
    August 17, 2008

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    hello little kitty,
    how sweet of you to share your wonderful poem with us and to bring consolation and hope to my sad cousin and family ... your innocent words come from the pure heart of a child (teenager), who still knows the art of sharing the TRUE gifts of life with others, sincerely and selflessly, with the only goal to console ...
    please, please, never forget this talent, it is more precious than anything else in the world ...

    much love,
    indigo maa


  • FunnelWaxFate
    July 23, 2008

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    Oh, excellent. Very sorrowful and eloquent write. The third stanza really crept into my heart and jarred it rather vividly…very strong emotion evoked. That last stanza was phenomenal. Though tragically sad, it is very inspiring and uplifting, very consoling. It has a deep passion and depth that lifts the heart up in hope; to see past the grave and into the deep, impenetrable, infinite realms of love, “Waiting forever because forever, love waits.” So beautiful! Such an affecting write! Beautifully done!


  • Pandorea
    July 20, 2008
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    this is really sweet. a lovely sentiment and beautifully written.

    thanks for entering.


  • Child of an Angel
    July 15, 2008

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    What a wonderful way of thinking of things, you did a great job! Thank you for entering and good luck!


  • Anewangel
    July 9, 2008
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    Well done. A beautiful write. Good Luck


  • InMyFlames
    July 7, 2008
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    thats amazing and very inspirational, great work and thanks for entering my contest


  • Rovingone gold member
    July 7, 2008

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    This is a very touching and singularly sad poem you have written here, though greatly encouraging of the reunion we can all have.


  • Bee gee silver member
    July 6, 2008
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    this was nice

    thiwas nice and a joy to read good job


  • Missa
    July 6, 2008
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    you were soooooo close to making me cry!


  • stylization
    July 5, 2008

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    Wow, this was entered in a lot of contests! I would suggest deleting some of the closed ones to clean up the page. But in thrms of the writing, I love it. Beautiful imagery and I like the rhyme; it doesn't seem very forced. Great write!


  • myusikah
    June 30, 2008

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    That's great imagery. I like the message you put in it. Good luck! The rhyme kinda throws that whole emotion thing out of it. But it's good. Thanks for entering! Good luck!
    -->pia♫♪


  • hey charlie
    June 28, 2008

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    Holy crap. It took me forever to scroll down past all the contests you entered. This is really sad and beautiful. Well written for a kid (assuming you're still 13). If not, it's still very well written.

    Way to make our contest all sexiful with your poetry. Ninja is pleased.

    • myusikah
      June 30, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Just cause most kids' poetry are practical and don't really describe anything doesn't mean that all kids write like that....
      Sorry, just thought I had to speak out...
      -->pia♫♪

      • hey charlie
        June 30, 2008
        Edit | Reply
        Well, in the case that you're not "most kids", I apologize. If you want, you can look at all my poetry leading up to this year and see that I was practical and undescriptive like almost everyone else has been (at least at one point).People typically aren't great at poetry when they're young. Saying that, even if this person is young, they are one hell of a poet. I was making the point that they WEREN'T like everyone else. You just repeated my thoughts in less funny words.

        Sorry, just thought I had to speak out too.

        • myusikah
          June 30, 2008
          Edit | Reply
          Yeah, some of my poetry is crappy too...But it's just the prompts I guess.... I used to suck too.
          -->pia♫♪


  • RawrSmileBabyPlz
    June 28, 2008

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    Amazing

    Wow this poem is amazingly well written and i like it alot. my favrotie part is when you said "
    Don't cry, you know I don't like you being sad,
    rejoice! I want you to be glad
    for I am in a much better position now
    to fulfill my one and only vow" thanks for entering my contest i wish you the best of luck.
    ..<3..
    Shelly


  • waydownuponjoy
    June 26, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    What beautiful thoughts ...

    you have shared with the imagery in this poem! Anyone who has watched someone go to the great beyond could find comfort in the thoughts that you've shared. Thank you! joy

  • mcheadle
    June 25, 2008
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    I loved this piece

    what grace you gave to someone in need....mac


  • lowercase prelude gold member
    June 24, 2008
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    a sad poem, but truly beautiful as well. very touching.


  • JustFallingApart
    June 22, 2008
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    im sorry for your loss, i can realy relate to this


  • Shya
    June 21, 2008

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    A touching poem. It really flows, and the rhyming is done perfectly. The whole poem is filled with emotion, or love. Beautiful write, thanks for entering.


  • longlife
    June 19, 2008

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    OH WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW I this poem. I love the couple of lines where you wrote the words...

    I'm one of God's angels now, I'm looking after you always
    my white wings enveloping you, keeping you safe through all days
    and I'll be waiting in heaven at the white pearly gates
    waiting forever because forever, love waits.
    _________________________________________________
    Great poem


  • Kristin Melissa
    June 19, 2008

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    OMG this is a sad and Beautiful poem!!! Koodles and good luck in the contest!!!
    Blessed be
    Mystic


  • The Poetic Bandits gold member
    June 16, 2008

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    Thank you kitty, for contributing this lovely poem to The Poetic Bandits reading list, and congratulations on the HM

    ~Lilac


  • camo.egg.army.gurl
    June 15, 2008

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    omg...i cried...

    i lost my first fiance over in Iraq
    this touched a little piece of my heart
    good luck in my contest


  • Tercil gold member
    June 14, 2008

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    Forever, love waits, but with a different women is associateds too, I can believe waht you say there. for I am in a much better position now
    to fulfill my one and only vow: which is nice.


  • Polaja Greeters member
    June 13, 2008

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    This is a beautiful poem the only thing that I can think to point out is that where you have 'can you not' in the second line sounds a bit awkward... apart from that this is a beautiful write and I really enjoyed the simple love that shines through good luck in all the contests!

    Keep writing

    Polly


  • PrettyxoxPoison
    June 13, 2008

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    This literally almost made me cry
    This is definitely going to be a finalist i can promise you that! =)
    Favorite Part:

    I'm one of God's angels now, I'm looking after you always
    my white wings enveloping you, keeping you safe through all days
    and I'll be waiting in heaven at the white pearly gates
    waiting forever because forever, love waits.

    I love this
    Thanks so much for entering!
    Good Luck
    ♥[Katee]♥


  • Twinstar
    June 12, 2008

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    What a lovely poem you have written here, if only we could all think of our loved ones that have crossed over in this way, it would give us peace. A delicately crafted piece, and a much enjoyable read...

    love & Light
    Debbera


  • Elle Kaye
    June 12, 2008

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    Wow.. this is beautiful! such an awesome write. I really enjoyed it. Particularly the last stanza.. i can't even begin to describe how it made me feel.


  • Barely Breathing gold member
    June 12, 2008

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    This is lovely. The last stanza was so beautiful and left the reader with such a lovely feeling. All the best and thanks for entering the contest.


  • IT Refugee
    June 11, 2008

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    I love this one, Kitty. It is a very touching perspective and strikes right to the heart of what we believe. Or rather, how much we believe what we believe, if you know what I mean. There is more to reality than just this physical place. I love how you captured this, and in such a heart warming way. I've bookmarked this one. Thanks.


  • Freed by Mercy silver member
    June 11, 2008
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    The final line grabbed me and wouldn't let go. A poem of encouragement and love.


  • warrior-eagle
    June 11, 2008

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    This almost made me cry.
    It's so beautiful.It's so hopeful,
    I really liked this. And it touched me.
    Just really good. Very thoughtful indeed.


  • Haiku-bless-you silver member
    June 11, 2008

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    This is a beautiful poem of love and consolation. It is hard to deal with loss only on a physical level but we are so much more than physical beings, we have been blessed with spirits that live and love forever. Good thoughtful write, thanks for sharing.

    Bandits Rock!

    Dennis


  • Dark Otter
    June 11, 2008
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    I liked the spin

    creative ideas appeal to me

  • Shadow Darkstar
    June 11, 2008

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    Awe. This made my heart melt a little. This was absolutely beautiful, is sounded like parts of it could actualyl be told in a wedding vow. Beautiful, beautiful write, I'm just stunned. I'm not for love poems unless I write them myself (hard to explains please don't ask!) but this simply took my breath away. Mind if I show this to my other half?


  • The Hermit
    June 11, 2008
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    If anything it's very comfortable and it's great that you wrote it for your friend.


  • Lady Altheia
    June 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is so beautiful and comforting to know angels watch over us. I personally want the person physically there if at all possible.

1 - 42 of 42