Laying here
Can’t get my mind off you
I have so many things going on in my head
But the only one I care about is you
Not the stress at school
Not the troubles of my family
Not the pain in my chest
Just the thought of your head resting upon my shoulder
My nightmares have been taken over by a dream
The dream of an angel
An angel who would do anything for me
And I would do anything for her
Just the smallest thought brings a happy smile across my face
Even when I am whimpering in pain
The only question I ask my self is
Do I deserve a person like you?
A contest entry
- Write What You Will! by limechic.
725 points, ended September 1, 2008, 62 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
what do u think..be honest cause i cant write
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Great job! You brought forth powerful emotions with strong-speaking words. It is very cute, and I really like it.
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This is awesome. I love it. May I borrow the poem and give it to my BF? It is so gd and he does everything for me. Bravo
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This one still strikes a chord with me!
Great job, good luck
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i used to have someone who thought about me like this...thinking about me constantly calling me an angel...asking himself if he deserved me...and now i think he knows that he doesn't deserve me - in that he's too good for me. yet im pretty sure he still thinks about me a lot...sigh...theres life! lol
great write, its so cute...and so true for so many people! -
WOW
"But the only one I care about is you
Not the stress at school
Not the troubles of my family
Not the pain in my chest"
This is SO TRUE...I couldn't give a SHITTTT about school...or much of the trouble in my family...and I've had quite a bit. The pain in my chest...funny because I developed a minor heart condition from the stress, and I don't care...just about her only.
You've touched my heart with this piece. Both stanzas are equally balanced..the first one is what you think of...second one is what is tearing you up. Interesting structure, I like it! 8/10! -
Awwww
thats all I can say
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