I extend my hand to all places at one time
silently, I seep, overlook and stage,
arranging instantaneous attractions
like cupid pressed fast forward.
Lunar revolutions align
with solar similarities,
tiny sparks fly and
give birth to wishes
that could one day
shoot.
A simple phenomenon
taken for granted,
yet set in edict,
common knowledge as
simple as an apple
and a tree.
Author notes
Gravity.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gravitation
A contest entry
- Loose yourself into Largeness by Thoughts-of-Soloman.
1750 points, ended July 11, 2008, 16 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Options! Prewrites accepted. by after-silence.
900 points, ended July 14, 2008, 21 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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I love this! The title definitely drew me in and the opening stanza is so perfect and mysterious. Every image and line in here is so carefully placed and meaningful in the context of the poem. Great poem! Thank you so much for entering my contest.
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This is fantastic entry..and Oh I love that last stanza..congrats for the HM!
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I read:
'World Is Universe'
The title suggests the unity and interdependence of all 'Creation'.
'I extend my hand to all places at one time'
Fantastic first line, what is it which can do this?
My answer would be the Spirit of 'all places' itself.
'silently, I seep, overlook and stage,
arranging instantaneous attractions
like cupid pressed fast forward.'
An overseer and maintainer of the Universe, which necessitates Compassion in order that existents can be allowed to be.
'Lunar revolutions align
with solar similarities,
tiny sparks fly and
give birth to wishes
that could one day
shoot.
All 'held' in interconnectedness of movement, life and concatenation of events. The 'things' which ask to be what they are.
A simple phenomenon
taken for granted,
yet set in edict,
Yes, there is nothing in 'Creation' which isn't connected directly to its interior meaning and brought about within the universal order of things.
common knowledge as
simple as an apple
and a tree.
Love this last part... Not that it matters but I wonder, were you thinking of the 'apple' as a symbol in connection with the 'Eden Story'. It may seem obvious that you were but I ask because for me, it just sits right anyway.
An excellent write which I think would stand even with only the last stanza plus the amazing opening line placed above it!
Well done and thank you.
Sol
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Sol, you never fail at giving such insightful comments, I love that you let me know exactly what you "got" from my words.....as for the apple reference, I was actually referring to the classic story when Sir Isaac Newton came up with his law of gravity when an apple fell from a tree (also the common myth that it fell on his head)...thanks for the comment =)
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Beautiful writing, wonderful imagery, but not dark enough. You have undoubted talent and your imagery is absolutely superb here. But I did not feel the 'darkness' within this piece.
It did not move me sufficiently enough to be able to say, that is DARK. Nevertheless, a good piece of writing here. You have talent.
With
Dark
Wishes
Wayne Leon
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WOW!!! This is brilliant. Oh, I might as well just pull my entry out now
Well done, I love every word in this. You've done a fantastic job. Good luck in the contest.
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This made me think of the quote: Everything is more simpler than you think, and more complex than you can imagine." I forgot who said it though.
I loved this - especially:
arranging instantaneous attractions
like cupid pressed fast forward.
It brought some stark images in my mind. The alliteration is well played as well
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Thank you for your wonderful entry.
Good luck with the judging
Sol
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