at low tide i collapsed
like midnight lust,
elapsed into a decrescendo
until the seconds halted
like a tired heartbeat.
within a yawning abyss
of soul, i looked to
rebuild the foundations
that had crumbled from
resentment and hostility.
i measured the distance
from now to nirvana
and exhaled until
the fragments of my spine
were realigned.
the jagged sun was
near perfection until he
smothered himself in ego
and his smile quickly faded
into a single pinpoint.
a single pulse meant breath
so i could linger again
in the cavities of
freshly filled margins--
inspiration is meaningless
to eager catacombs.
Author notes
Teen Idol 8: assignment 4.
the moment of getting what you want--
all i ask for is life and inspiration.
A contest entry
- TI8 - Round 10 - Top 4 - Finale - Assignment 4 by Tangled Angle.
1400 points, ended June 15, 4 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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i am humbled and inspired by your talent. thank you for existing. the void is filled. thats what i got from this. we resurrect into the "eager catacombs" and talk of "inspiration" is like saying you breathe air that's a "meaningless" statement. "lust" and "ego" are the hallmarks of being human so thats the cycle we are in. i really love this poem i have to read more of your stuff. I enjoy the way you express these grand insights.
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This was definitely your round - seriously, all of my scores for you were very high. For me, the final round goes to you: hands down.
As for this poem - well thought out, developed nicely, there aren't any loose pockets. as far as technical skills go, i do think this was the best one out of the final round.
excellent. one of your best, definitely.
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"i measured the distance
from now to nirvana
and exhaled until
the fragments of my spine
were realigned."
ahhhhhhh crap. this is bad. for me. i wish everyone would stop being so damn good... >_<
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