I went down to the local E. R.
Just a little bit dehydrated,
My HMO smiled down on them,
They’d be straightaway compensated.
They laid me on a gurney,
Which was -10F degrees,
And attached a bag of fluids,
Which swayed in the hallway’s breeze.
I don’t go in for gowns and such,
And confided so to the porter;
He said he’d see what he could do,
But he'd at least bring me some water.
Next time I'll go first class, I thought,
I'd get a cubicle, and TV,
Instead of wiling away the hours,
Watching a clock that was... watching me.
A curious thing, those E.R. clocks,
Oh, they're accurate, that’s for certain!
What’s an hour to you is a minute to it,
Regardless who’s doing the hurtin’.
I later declined any x-rays,
And started to dress, and what’s more,
There were ice-cubes just then in my water glass,
Where not a single one existed before.
Some say I’m given to exaggerate,
Some say that I'll one day fall;
But the coldest evening I ever spent,(I swear)
Was one Summer evening in that E.R. hall.
Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
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