To walk along a lake of blood, beneath the skies lit ablaze. By fire found in those who let hate guide their way.
They go to sleep with it burned in their minds. And wake up with the hate that guides their fate everyday when a black sun will rise.
Like the world was caught in a parallel dimension, where instead of birth there’s death. And you hear nothing but screams as the crimson moon sets.
It’s a place where the needy no longer ask they take. And those who had the power are now so afraid they shake.
Those in need no longer feel loss. Because they have nothing left to lose and their now their own boss.
Calling their own shots, with guns in their hands. The apocalypse came out of nowhere, bringing the earth and mankind to a much deserved end.
Author notes
It reminded of the poem i found below
http://oldpoetry.com/opoem/37497-Robert-C-O-Benjamin-Hades
A contest entry
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Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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I liked the film, a nice relation here!
Thank you for entering and good luck!
Kindest of regards
Sophie
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Whew!
Now this is a powerhouse write! Left me stunned really..
I loved these lines...
"Like the world was caught in a parallel dimension, where instead of birth there’s death. And you hear nothing but screams as the crimson moon sets."
What an overall picture of the whole thing! Man, I don't want to be here! Very scarey.
Nicely done!
Bravo!
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Thanks for the applause. You may not want to be there. But the way things were heading these last 8 years we were getting close. In fact were not far from it.
“Like the world was caught in a parallel dimension, where instead of birth there’s death.”
Yet when you watch the news or television that’s all they show. 10,000 ways to die and only one way to ask yourself why?
Thanks for the great comment
Allawy
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This is pretty good, needs some punctuation work though. While I enjoyed the read it sees more of a cautionary tale than a visoin of the inner darkness.
thanks for the entry though,
Peace
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Nice write. Thank you so much for entering the contest, good luck.
♥
whisper
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a good take on the apocalypse, but the couplets detract from the darkness of your piece
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I like it.
It was dark, and interesting. I liked your ending line as well. Thanks for entering and best of luck to you in my contest.
~Vampy~ -
good work this is a great poem good l;uck ineverthing you want to do
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Um...
I like it, it is dark,
good write.
Good luck in my contest. -
my parents are kinda weird about this like they are saving food in the basement for this whole idea of christ comming back, dont get me wrong i know its gonna happen i just dont think so soon, but again many books out there are showing the truth in signs of today
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Well three different ancient societies prophesized the END OF DAYS in 2012. For me when it happens, I’ll have a smile on my face. Watching it all come undone.
Alex
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Hello again,
Glad to have your participation in this contest which is similar to the last one. As I have suggested before, I would watch out for sentence fragments that really seem to me like they would better serve as an entire line, for instance...*ablaze by fire found* and dropping the period from behind "minds" so that it flows unbroken by anything other than the space to the second stanza. *black sun rises*
Like the world *caught in a parallel dimension where* instead of birth, theirs *is* only death.
*hear* nothing but death
*they're* now their own *boss, calling*
*nowhere, bringing*
The Hades poem seems like a most appropriate link. I had not read him before so was interested to be introduced to yet another obscure old poet over at oldpoetry. Thank you.
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Thanks for the great comment, I did take some of the suggestions you offered. I think it looks much better. Thanks for suggestions.
Alex
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Great poem, easy to follow.
Good luck! -
i really liked all the imagery in this poem! thank you so much for entering my contest and i wish you the best of luck! ~CarnalNineTailedFox
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The words really do set the tone for a bleak day. Thanks for reading.
Alex
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