She started in a gutter,
But then so did many more.
After a gruelling game of chess
Was played with her heart,
She was forced to
Sweat out the pain.
Learning that
Meth is not a method of transport
Was a near unreachable task,
Yet courrugated iron and flithy rags
Were incredibly wise tutors.
She hid behind paper
But was never found:
The searching eyes carried always
A strawberry-red glaze.
So often she gazed upon far away mountains
Where the predominant colour was green;
A scene so different to this.
The tranquility sang a song to her,
However the melody seemed so distant.
Yet the notes insisted
On repeating in her mind;
Ergo the bars inherently intertwined
And refused to leave her be,
Until that day she swore to turn from the debris.
However the narrow, rocky path was blocked,
By the grumbling undertones of her upbringing.
Huge tears formed as her head was still attacked
By the now-familiar singing.
Her shoulder-blades tingled.
Nevertheless
No threat was posed;
It merely led to a cliche more beautiful
Than a fresh red rose:
She spread her sequened wings
And soared into cotton clouds,
Bathing in confidence for the first time.
Her glowing lips twisted
Awkwardly
Into an eventual smile of
Victory.
A contest entry
- Vines Intertwining - A Collaboration Contest #75 by Lyndon.
5250 points, ended July 20, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Largest Contest On AP!!!! by xxRainbowDawnxx.
3000 points, ended August 26, 2008, 1706 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Full of dramatic feeling.
I do not know much about meths etc. I presume from reading the poem that it is about drugs or stuff like that. Whatever, it is very emotional and I can feel the tension in your vivid words.
You have an uncanny knack of relating to real life instances and your use of metaphor is good in all your poems. Even the poem title is imaginative.
I like the feeling of the ending.
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This is beautiful. You captured so much. 'meth is not a method of transport' My favorite line. You prove to be an exceptional poet. Welcome to the Winklings.
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Thank you very much for the kind words & welcome, its much appreciated
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This is beautiful. You captured so much. 'meth is not a method of transport' My favorite line. You prove to be an exceptional poet. Welcome to the Winklings.
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Wow. You have indeed entered a piece the rings with perseverance. A virtually seamless collaboration of thought and continuance throughout this work.
I may have refrained from using a capital letter to begin each line, but that is personal preference. The masters all did it, but where we are dealing with poetry of current time, I would tend to refrain.
However, it does NOT take away from the message conveyed in your poem.
Thank you for a splendid entry. Best of luck in the judging. Well done. ~Pamela
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I like it...
Very strong piece....
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Thanks for reading, liking and commenting
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I'm glad I read this, whoa, I like the input of the word "sequin" very unusual. I also like the part about
"She hid behind paper
But was never found:
The searching eyes carried always
A strawberry-red glaze."
This is a truely amazing peice, lovly.
many <3's
-peek-a-boo-
((eva))
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Hey thanks for the kind words and for taking your time to comment my work - means a lot
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Begging for comments, eh? I'll read it!
I like how it rhymes here and there.
Someday I'll do a collaboration...someday.
It's very nice.
It's on a touchy subject.
My cousin lost everything to Meth a couple years back. He had an amazing house on the lake and his life was picture perfect, but he had "better" stuff to do.
I love the 7th stanza!
"Nevertheless
No threat was posed;
It merely led to a cliche more beautiful
Than a fresh red rose:
She spread her sequened wings
And soared into cotton clouds,
Bathing in confidence for the first time."
It's very beautiful and it shows triumph.
Nice write
Sincerely,
dovey ~
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Thanks so much for taking the time to comment; really appreciate it Very sorry to hear about your cousin also. And gd luck if you're planning a collaboration, they might take time but some amazing stuff can happen
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