Remember

I remember it like it was yesterday
I was too young, really
I couldn't fathom the fact that it was wrong...
I thought he loved me
...But I was wrong

I'd lie in bed, fear trembling though my head
I'd hear the doorbell...couldn't move
Slowly the door opens and his footsteps coming
I shut my eyes, praying he won't see me
But I know that is only a lie

"I wanna fuck you"
"No..."
"I won't leave til we do"
"I said no, don't want to"
DON'T PUT YOUR HANDS ON ME!!!!
GET AWAY FROM ME, PLEASE!!!
DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh god, why didn't he understand no?
Torn from dignity, and any esteem
I lost myself and all my dreams
Do the Gods hate? I hear they come in all sizes and shapes
Ok, ok, ok, ok , where do I go from here?

WHY DID HE DO THIS TO ME??!!!
WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS???!!!!!

So now i'm taking this into my own hands
If he can haunt me and my life
Then it's an eye for an eye; he will die!
Rekilling him in my mind
Re living the fact that I was blind
Haunting darkness as the only sanctuary

I hear we all die like soldiers
Fighting our whole lives for our identities
Or maybe we just need an identity
I wake up with the raped everyday
Tainted stars with the most beautiful smiles
They truly are the greatest smiles to endure what hell it brings
What happened to that little boy?
Where is his only toy?
A teddy bear sailing down the gutters of lost innocence

...heartbeat...
No god to save us now
I'm so sorry for whatever I did to deserve this