Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Paper Cup

Paper Cup

Petals ignite on the ground
Off a broken vase, off a broken shelf
In a broken home, with their broken smiles
Say “why don’t you stay a while”

I'm  a bird alone on a power line
Just waiting for the sunrise
Day after day, fight after fight
I’m trapped, can’t watch a sunrise at night.

They say when life can be held in a paper cup
It obviously can’t amount too much.
But a paper cup is all what I have been given.
A living testament, life's curse is never forgiven.

Oh, sun! I want to rise with you
Sing, breathe like you
above this misery, above this life
A bird who has found the sunrise

And can fly away

Author notes

For my newest contest- 20. “When the night is darkest the dawn is nearest.”

My Name- Ryan Fitz

Username: Fitz1901

Rhyme- Yes it is supposed to rhyme

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 10 of 10

  • Metaphorist
    March 6

    Edit | Reply
    Powerful ending and an image that lasted with me even after I finished reading. Not what I expected when I saw the title. Impressive work. Thank you for entering my contest and best of luck!


  • poulet.de.la.nuit
    November 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I like the idea of the sunrise as well - it's something to still look forward to from whatever depths you're in. Very well written, with dark but beautiful feeling to it


  • Peripatetic gold member
    November 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This poem is spoken from dark and less than hopeful circumstances, but with a resilience that recognizes there is a sunrise. Instead of surrendering to despair, from this time of darkness the poem ends speaking only of the sunrise in which this bird may fly.

    Regarding author's notes:
    Other than a technical note, dedication or attribution to source material, it is best to let a poem speak for itself as much as possible. Let readers discover the meaning of the poem.
    Sometimes an author's intentions and a reader's impressions are quite divergent, but each is legitimate for the person who writes or reads the poem. A poem may be autobiographical, but others may relate it to their own lives or intellectual experiences. Let them!
    When a poem is well written, both author and audience will realize its merit with little or no explanation.


  • dustytiger
    November 3, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    this is a fantastic piece! i love the symbolism, very well done


  • sad-eyed anime girl
    June 19, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    hey this is really good
    agree with what someone say down there \/
    the title is perfect.

    oh and i agree 100% with this

    "Oh, sunrise! I want to rise with you
    Singing, breathing like you
    Rise above the misery, above this life
    A bird who has found the sunrise"


  • unanswered
    June 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I really liked this. I know all to well how it feels to be trapt in a situation and the wanting to escape it. thank you for entering and good luck.


  • movedon
    June 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I like the analogy that you used. You are very wise for only being at the age of 15. I like the title of Paper Cup. Titles can make or break a poem and this title defenitely MAKES this poem. You have a way with words to make iamges appear in the reader's eyes. Again, well done!

    Mylee


  • Beauty Of Silence
    June 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    wow! you did a wonderful job here... you've portrayed life in this poem very differently! and it was awesome! Sometimes in life you feel trapped, longing for help... and this poem spoke about it perfectly! in life, everyone wants to fly away from the problems and setbacks! loooved it!!! >.<

    much lovies,
    Ranji


  • ProudMomma
    June 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Fly away!! do it !!! i love this poem! i remember feelings this way not too long ago great write!!keep on penning!

1 - 10 of 10