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The Tempest

The Tempest

Conscience leads the way into my life with good advice
as voices in my head speak out clearly of the price;
precise the one who speaks desires and rules my every move
she's the tempest in my groove

The day unfolds a black rainbow filling up the page
with conflict, death and chaos luring in a basic rage
assuage the noises void that besets my souls repose
filling it with darkness as the fear in my heart grows

Singing the dreams and weaving tapestries forlorn
one lost angel reaches out, her blood stained wings left torn
born in the future, falling swiftly in the fast approaching storm
She's the tempest in my form

Once my clarity was such to venture to the purest light
bright clouds were soft and fluffy, floating silent in their white;
right and wrong were always finite, no grey borders found within
blurring at the fringes scattered sinner after sin

Now those who once advised me, quieted in vain protest
for suggestions left untaken that they thought were for the best;
investing yet one whisper from the silence still remains
she's the tempest in my veins

The angels flee appalled in a reviling release
cease to speak above the cries of my shattering sweet peace;
repentance a remembrance of a give without a take
forsaking now my innocence, struck down in passions wake

Of all the gentle visions that once played within my head
lay the ashes of their presence soaking in bloody red;
led now by the one who remains to justify my strife
she's the tempest of my life

----Chorus-----
She's the tempest of my life
Ohhhhhhh
teaching me the way to take what’s mine without a fight
the tempest sits upon her throne to show me wrong in right
----End Chorus-----

Turmoil into catastrophe marks a new born day
as the sinners walk the finest lines and sort it out their way
no more sorrow and pain as the shadows fade to black
masking out all reasoning with no more turning back

Now I’ve grown beyond their whispers racing past my youth
angels cast aside my soul for facing my dark truth
but the one who understands me with every longing breath
she's my tempest unto death

Author notes

Lyrics ©2008 by Elizabeth D a r k w e l l
Music ©2008 by Reflections in Black™

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A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 24 of 24

  • Kathleen a Nazarene
    March 20

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    This is

    a very intense & profound write! I don't know the music that you used as background for this, but the lyric stands marvelously on its own. All the best in the Contest. This is a winner to me!
    Wow....


  • stepbystep
    March 19

    Edit | Reply

    wow,

    wow.
    i cannot say any more bc it would screw up this amazing piece of art!


  • x7-rose-sorrows
    March 19

    Edit | Reply

    Holy Balls

    this is god-awesome, like seriously, this is amazing, i love the word choice and rhymes, they're effin wonderful.


  • chael
    March 18

    Edit | Reply

    outstanding

    This is totally amazing. I could write a thousand writes and not even touch it. I do tip my hat, don't ever get dicouraged,,,,EVER.....chael


  • Kathraina silver member
    March 18

    Edit | Reply
    Oh hun I think this piece is absolutely wonderful!
    The rhyme is flawless, and I love the tale told here.
    Fantastic imagery and emotion invoked in every line!
    You should be very proud of this piece
    I'm truly amazed!

    ♥ Katie


  • wingsofgold25 silver member
    March 18
    Edit | Reply
    Very well penned very good Imagery
    Thank you for entry good luck in the contest


  • Cerulean Sunrise gold member
    March 9
    Edit | Reply
    beware of storms.


  • spideracer gold member
    March 7

    Edit | Reply
    I'll have to listen to the song again, for now the lyrics are before me. You have some well penned imagery going on here, dark and interesting this poem is too. Your way with words has done this poem justice, bringing the story you've told here to life. The song itself is one I should burn, so I can play it loud on my stereo. My computer speakers are not very loud. Hope you don't mind if I burn this song, for I think it should be listened to with a bit more volume than I currently can hear it. Thanks for sharing this poem here, and thanks for the song version too.

  • Starz of Heaven gold member
    September 2, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Wow


  • PerfectImperfection
    August 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    A dark piece of endearment taking shape. I see this one too has been made into song, an intriguing piece indeed. The imagery is deep and sullen in love's embrace, as if it were a dark angel awaiting to be submersed within it all. Nice flow throughout. Thank you for your entry!


  • Luckintheshadows
    July 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    ooooh...my! this is absolutely phenomenal!!! I love I love!!!! seriously, I simply cannot say enough good things about your flow, imagery, rhyme....everything...you really are SUCH a talented poet....*shivers*...I'm so jealous!!!
    Thanks for sharing this, and taking the time to enter my contest,

    Luck.


  • PerfectImperfection
    July 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Please put your name in author notes so I know you are indeed on my list. Thanks.


  • Peripatetic gold member
    July 22, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    There is imaginative creativity in the poetic devices employed in this song poem. The meteorological images work well to emphasize the titular tempest of the refrain. Also, there seems to be a play on words with angels, conscience and advice both positive and negative making the tempest appear to be a temptress as well. The mirror rhymes contribute to the flow of the poem as well as to its acoustical interest.

    There is one jarring note: all but line 8 end with an iambic foot. The spondaic "heart grows" sounds like it's missing a metrical syllable when read with the rest of the poem. Also, commas are interspersed here and there through the poem, but without apparent consistency. Some precision in punctuation with capitalization would make the poem more readable. When speaking or singing, a sayer/singer may clarify with oral phrasing using pause and inflection. When writing, the writer should use punctuation and capitalization for the same benefit to a reader. Eschewing these looks cute and/or edgy, but it really just makes it more difficult for someone to understand what is presented.

    The poem is compelling as a declaration of self-awareness in a cosmos composed of environment, culture and ego. The soul is not portrayed as a tabula rasa; rather it is a page with innate direction to be tested and accepted or rejected. Nature and nurture wage war along with the will and intellect to re-align the moral code of this exhilaratingly storm-tossed soul.


  • lowercase prelude gold member
    July 5, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Wonderfully penned imagery


  • RawrSmileBabyPlz
    June 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Wow very interesting i like it alot its very very well written and worded so greatly. And plus you made the point that you were trying to make. Thanks for entering my contest i wish you the best of luck. ..<3.. Shelly


  • EvryTimeItRains
    June 15, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this was amazing. one of the best poems i have read in a long time. it was darkly sexual, painful, beautiful and very easy to relate to. my only suggestion is this:
    inthe lines : precise the one who speaks desires and rules my every move
    she is the tempest in my groove

    you could possibly say "and rules my every choice, she is the temptest, loudest voice" or something of the like. groove just didn't seem to fit your style or the meaning.

    truly darling. lovely lovely stuff.


  • DevilHimself silver member
    June 11, 2008

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    forget the foolish....->

    i find the ones that simply just lash out with foolish responses/comments to be the ones that dont bother to even read the words before them, so friggin sure they are of the importance of thier quaintly formed miasma of selfish bullshit. i sentence them to always being uncaring and unknowing so blind they are to the journey of others.
    this poem makes me think of the child you are growing into the one person you are becoming and the tempest is the life you know to be you but have only just began to understand. the last line speaks volumes for certain-"of all the gentle visions that once played within my head lay the ashes of thier presence soaking in the blood-red and led now by the one who remains to justify my strife, she is the tempest of my life." i really can totally get what you have written i think unless i am mistaken. tell me if i am wrong! ok?


  • tarcus
    June 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Grammar punctuation and capitalisation.
    Three words sadly lacking in todays modern society,alas I ran out of breath reading this one and had to re-read it four times before it made any sense to me.
    I am sorry that it is so but I do not feel that platitudes such as "nice words well put together" will help you in your quest to write decent poetry that people wish to read again.

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