I wake and see my daddy
He's standing over me
The peaceful sunlight room of mine
I look at him and freeze
He's cursing at my mom again
And how I'm so like her
I pray to God he'll leave my room
I don't know what he'll do
Ever since the accident
A part of him has died
The part I called my daddy
My daddy never cried.
I don't know what I did to him
that he should treat me so
I don't know why he touches me
Why he makes those jokes.
My daddy wouldn't laugh
If my life was bet to him
He'd take that man and kill him dead
He'd never just grin.
I always was a daddy's girl.
He protected me.
We'd go on small adventures.
He'd tell me he dreamed to be free.
Who is this person who sits on my bed?
Who stares at me with those eyes?
Who is this man who sleeps while I'm dead?
I feel my daddy has died.
Author notes
My father suffered severe brain damage in a car accident almost five years ago. Since the accident, he has treated me so differently, in such a scary way, that I can't believe that he's the same person who protected me when I was a child. I've felt for a while now that the person who was my father died, and that the person who is there now is no one who could ever be a father to me.
It's all the more awful because he's not dead. He's just....changed. It's impossible to explain here. Perhaps more poetry on this to come...
A contest entry
- Fatherless Day by lively banter.
500 points, ended June 18, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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This is such a sad and tragic poem made all the more tragic when I read your notes. I am so sorry to hear of your father's story. I know what you mean in some respects as my mother had a severe stroke seven years ago and her personality has completely changed and she's unable to care for herself. It's very difficult but I'm lucky in that I don't have to live with her on a daily basis.
As for your poem, it's extrememly well written and whilst there maybe some elements of cliche, overall it's powerful. A heart felt and searingly honest write, I hope it was a cathartic experience for you. Thanks for sharing.
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you need a hug. no wonder you dont like guys... but its okay, it's not his fault. i love you but not in that way
(which is creepy cuz i dont know you, but yeah, i still <3 you just cuz 
)
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Well. Firstly I want to point out that there are moments in here that are done with a simple grace and some of the simplicity helps add to that feeling. I can't, however, say I liked this. And mainly that is because I can not get passed some of the cliché dialogue bits. For instance, the questions asked directly at the readers at the end. Never been one for questions in poetry. Pet peeve of mine. Fathers are weird though, huh? Sometimes they are with us until death and other times, they are vacant before their time. Thank you though for trying to explain to me a bit of your life, however much I think it could be improved. Please do not much any changes to the entry as the contest is being judged as of now.
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I really like this. It was brave of you to post this so I really admire that. The first stanza is very strong and one of my favorites in the poem.
Did you mean to make the died/cried rhyme in the second stanza? I hope not, it just sounds so awkward. I’d suggest trying to say the same thing with getting rid of the sing-songy feel. Ah, I see the rhyming scheme now… I don’t think I like the me/free rhyme too.
The third stanza is confusing to me. I’m not sure what you mean by the betting idea.
This was nice. I hope this poem helped you some to cope with the strange person your dad has become. Thank your for entering. I enjoyed your poem.
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You should write some more about this, either poetry or prose. It's quite a subject, even though it is so sad it happened. Hard to predict how your dad will react at any given time, I would think. That's really a difficult thing to cope with.
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Wow, this is such an emotional write. Thanks for the authors notes, and i am so sorry to hear of this. It must be so hard for you to look at him the same, but what a terrible tragedy to happen to your father. All the best for the contest.
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