SUP EX,Yes, U heard me... U R unfortunately my EX now. WTF? DIS is weirder than a UFO! Y did U do DIS 2 me? Y did U leave? If U reply, I don't care if U say U will BRB or BBL. The fact is DAT U RLY said TTFN. OMG, I M serious... I M not LOL... nor M I ROFL or LMAO... nor even ROFLMFAO. IMO, I honestly HRT'D U. U were my QT. U made me say "ILY." WTG, jerk.
I wish I knew the 404. Not EVERY1 in the world has ESP. Ugh, it all happened so fast... 1 day I was at the COMP, but then, I went AFK to come visit U. And as I went N to UR HOME, what did I C? I saw U and UR other LUVR. I was ^SET. I almost had a HRT attack. I needed CPR. I needed a DR.... WIT NUTHIN else 2 do, I basically started running away. I didn't care what AVE, BLVD, RD, ETC... I just had to get 4, 4 away. The running made me lose a lot of LBS (IE APPROX 2).At home, my ETA was 4:00 PM. I PROLLY ran at a pace of a billion MPH. Not DAT U care THO. U always had a low IQ... AKA UR stupid.
N E way, here's the surprise. I filmed U cheating on me. LOL! Take DAT! Would U like a copy in VHS or DVD? Uhh... Well.. no 1 RLY uses a VCR N E more, but I'll gladly make a VHS 4 UR parents. Yes, DEY get a copy. ROFL. FYI, now U R the 1 DAT is SOL. DEY will get 2 watch every SEC of it. HMMM...The day I send it is TBA. Live N fear!
O, No need 4 THX. I'll gladly say "YW" N E time.
RSVP ASAP.
RIP,
UR EX LUVR
PS: FU
Author notes
The title, "In Short," is a reference to abbreviations.
I was treated like an idiot when I posted this poem without an explanation... See? Poets that actually do write with chatspeak should take into consideration how dumb they look.
I was shocked when people didn't think my chatspeak was intentional. I thought I was overdoing it, but apparently people really type this poorly.
I'm not really breaking up with anyone... I just needed a plot device. The point of this poem is to spoof our language.
If I ever submitted this into a contest, I would be SOL.
What does this poem mean to you?
Comments
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That was fun XD
However, I wasn't so keen on the way you mixed real abbreviations like "MPH" and "IQ" along with your chat speak.
Nice work though.
And yes, some people really do type that poorly. It sometimes gets to the point where you actually don't know what they're trying to say. I'm fortunate enough not to know any who are this bad, but I do know they're out there. Anyone who has ever used a forum will know what I mean.
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Hehe.
ur po3m maid mi laff cuz it so funy srsly thx 4 gud read....
So uh anyway! That was a great poem. (sarcasm) I love how some people butcher the english language like this and actually mean it. (/sarcasm) Haha this poem truly did make me "LOL". =)
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Haha... I've had people submit entries to my contests written like this, and it makes me want to punch them in the face! I told one person [who submitted me internet slang and tried to pass it off as poetry] that poetry is a reflection of the author, and using such abhorrent language just screams immaturity and lack of skill. Seriously... Vowels were invented for a reason, people. Use them!
My response to that entry was, "Sry 2 say but ur entry wil b d3l3ted. Translation: Automatic DQ." Needless to say, they came whining to me afterward... But that's what their kind is famous for, no?
I know that this is just in fun, but it reminded me so much of that contest-idiot that I started tearing my hair out strand by strand. Good on you for the humour though... Thanks for the laugh!
Laura -
Wow....
You do realize that people who use chat speak don't use such dignified terms as "i.e." and "approx[imately]" don't you?
Man, I realize that you're just making fun of the people that do this...but I still almost want to hit you.
I'm definitely the dork who even uses correct grammar, capitalization, and punctuation when texting. ::sigh::
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"I'm definitely the dork who even uses correct grammar, capitalization, and punctuation when texting."
I do that too (Y) -
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That makes me feel so much better about myself...thanks.
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LOL!!!
Great write!!
Harmony
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wow, i'm a lil lost by the chat lingo so that makes it a lil hard for me to laugh a bit harder at this. Other than my poor attempts at translation i am rotflmao so hard my parents are looking at me funny. Wonderful man. Nice to see sum chat lingo. It takes too long to type some words sometimes. And the title, really cool. I have got to say, this will be my letter to all my exes!! LMAO
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"WIT NUTHIN else 2 do, I basically started running away. I didn't care what AVE, BLVD, RD, ETC... I just had to get 4, 4 away. The running made me lose a lot of LBS (IE APPROX 2)."
Hahahahahahaha. Sheer brilliance. That is all I have to say.
- Solaris
PS: I think the addition of the AN explaining it was in error. It would have been much funnier to see people take it seriously. >.> At least from my perspective, since I get it. Hahaha.
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When I first released this poem, I didn't have any author notes. About 20% of the readers got it.... everyone else thought I was an idiot. Although amusing, I don't want to scare people away from my poems! Hence the addition of the author notes.
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Trust me, I completely understand. Kudos on being hilarious. : )
- Solaris
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Can I be honest? I started reading it, and I got maybe 1/2 way through before I had to stop.
I understand what your doing here, from that I give you credit, it's just that I myself couldn't read it.
About all I can say though, is this takes quite a wit, balls, and imagination to think up. Perhaps not the 'best' poem I'll ever read, but certainly one of the most exotic and well thought of. -
nice
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It's funny, very funny actually, and I liked the title more than anything else. It's not intentionally supposed to be poetry in form, so I'm not going to give you poetic advice. However, you seemed to sacrifice witty abbreviations for the most you could possibly pack into the letter. The proliferation of abbreviations detracts from the cleverest ones, so I suppose all I can offer you in terms of advice is to work on refining this and trimming away the mundane writing to highlight your wittiest moments.
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Wow...this made me laugh!!!
Lol- absolutely awesome!
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How very "new wave". It is certainly a diverse use of CS.
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Oh, SOL indeed!
U R funny! I've rarely seen chatspeak on the site; but I get UR point. I wonder if there's a group on here for chatspeakers?
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Cute
I liked it. I got most of them enought to keep up. I am glad you weren't breaking up with any one though. -
Nice one
clever use of chat lingo in a really well-structured poem, creating a very powerful piece overall. Great title, too - I love a double entendre!
Also, although the chat speak was used for obvious reasons, it was also effective in that it made the reader think more about what you were saying in terms of translation, and therefore, think more about the message.
Great work, keep it up!
ELW x
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omg i agree but the poem scared the shit out of me plus the pic made me want to block you and never read anything by u or wow u scared me lol
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At first reading I rued clicking on this, not wanting to wast anyone's points.
On second and third readings (after reading author's notes) I got it. It's enjoyable in a peculiar way (oh! my aching synapses)
Really, I think you've made a good parody
Thanks for the read. James
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I like your plot device... a break-up always gets people's interest. You had me goin' for awhile. I'm "old school" and was quite confused from some of the abbreviations
I did get most of it, I think. I'm glad you don't really write like that, since you might be in one of my contest's soon
Anyway Justin, I think I'll read something else from you, just to make sure.
Later, Poet!
~ Nicky♥
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Awesome,
I know how much language means to you sense you are always correcting peoples speeling (even someone as perfect as me so I think this is the perfectest thing for you to right (yes it was intentional)
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Yes, but was the wrong form of "write" intentional? :-P Wow I'm a poophead... Thank you for your comment.
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This is pure genious..I love it.
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weird
this is weird but cool at the same time .... i love it .. but i think it is kinda cruel what she did ... my advise .. dont start a war with her over this ... and i want to know if you do any more of these
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wow, that was odd, but kinda cool at the same time, i didn't think people has to put in teir contests "no chat lingo" but now that i ve read this, i guess i understand why
goo d job though, it took me a couple seconds to interpret the first line though. -
I always love to read something differnt...AND on one of my most favorite subjects too...
sweet revenge.
Clever and unique. If I were to make any suggestions, I would give it a more witty title to go along with its unique nature. (and a little cheat sheet in the AN wouldnt hurt...for those of us that arent fluent in this language, lol)
What in the crap is N E anyway? Thats the only one that really lost me.
The PS: FU was the perfect end by the way.
Jamie
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In Short isn't a witty title? The poem is loaded with abbreviations.
N E = any
lol thank you for the read! -
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I KNOW! God I sound like a jerk, lol. Im not saying its not a brilliant title....lol....I will just shut up now.
oh....and DUH to me on the NE thing...I mean it totally makes sense.
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Funny stuff. I saw 'the weirdest poem ever' on the shameless list. For once a poem lives up to its claim. Jeez. I think I understood approximately 5/8 of this. The rest... I'm not sure I want to know.
Good stuff man.
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Certainly different
I was laughing and felt like crying all the way through this one. You really let all the feelings show and that is a great healing process. Thanks for the write, it started my day right.
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I'm a huge online chatter and i didnt even know all of the abbr.'s on here! creative, I felt like it was personal. Relational almost. Like the letter was written just for me. Well done; i made me smile
Mylee -
I really didn't like the chat lingo but the rest of it was very well interesting to say the least. Other then that it is well written (except for the chat) and I did like it as it was emotional. Thank you for sharing
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I don't think you got the point of this, but thank you anyway.
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ummm
this is interesting... it certainly is different thats for sure. i guess im not all that into the um... use of online lingo in a poem. But for what it was it was very interesting. A new angle, always good. -
yikes...i wouldn't want to be your ex. this was an interesting style...i could barely understand it (i don't speak chat
) but i got the jist.
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Not really poetry. Lots of chatspeak. Not really my style. Best of luck.
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I don't think you got the point of this, but thank you anyway.
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