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I Am [Interlude II]





she was a patchwork
of faulty memories

and fraudulent memorials

Author notes

flesh & bone in 10 words

In a list

A contest entry

Honesty would be lovely

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • Naridill
    July 9, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Spots stain.
    ^ valuable lesson right there.


  • sailor ptolema
    June 17, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    excellent

    oh! nicely crafted words, and great diction choices!
    congrats on the trophy!

  • Kari gold member
    June 12, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Yikes, I know that it sucks having a friend like that more so if you feel like you're like that but I hope that you don't because you're not.
    Congrats on the hm


  • Noir mariposa...x gold member
    June 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Interesting. I can't say I've read your other She & me poems... but I think I might after this.
    This is as I said very interesting... Hmm... sorry for not being more exact lol I'm just trying to grasp it... I'll have to come re-read it later.

    Thanks for entering and I wish you luck,
    Claire xx


  • Isabel Cult
    June 10, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Awesome <3


  • Tattboyspet
    June 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    The feelings ran deep and that is evident here (along with your other 'she & Me' writes
    I wish I could just hold you now my friend ...


  • Georgia La Mariposa
    June 10, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I liked this a lot great word use and a nice description, good luck


  • Fug-azi
    June 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Not to sure about "mish-mash", I know with your vocab. you could have found a better word or words to replace them, apart from that I love it.


    • Exodus gold member
      June 10, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      It was a bit rushed.
      Is that any better?


      • Fug-azi
        June 10, 2008
        Edit | Reply
        Oh yes indeed

        To elaborate a little; "Mish-mash" just gave the impression of things thrown together with no thought to how the final thing may look.

        "Patchwork" gives a more uniform impression, things taken and shaped, melded to produce a shroud / coating, certainly goes better with the lines that follow (IMHO).


        • Exodus gold member
          June 10, 2008
          Edit | Reply
          What I really wanted was something in the middle, unfortunately "mishwork" isn't a word
          I needed it to have that rough edged, feeling, while still being held together.
          Patchwork is as close as I'm going to get I'm afraid


          • Fug-azi
            June 11, 2008
            Edit | Reply
            How about "miscellany" or "olio" or "pastiche".

            miscellany - a miscellaneous collection or group of various or somewhat unrelated items.

            olio - a dish of many ingredients.

            pastiche - an incongruous combination of materials, forms, motifs, etc., taken from different sources; hodgepodge.

            but I still like patchwork

1 - 12 of 12