Broken bones and scratches
with cigarettes and matches
black eyes and bruises
with sunglasses and cruises
new injuries and insults
with hospitals and old results
He'd always said that he was sorry
and he'd never do it any more
but he always seem to be lying
and the next day shes on the floor
Bullet holes and gashes
with silk ties and sashes
Open wounds and scars
with fancy clothes and cars
death threats and brute power
with apologies and flowers
He'd always said that he was sorry
and he'd never do it any more
Well he hit her once too many
now he's lying in the morgue
A contest entry
- Not For The Weak II by Immortal Obscurity.
875 points, ended July 3, 2008, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrites, Im crazy. by Menna.
1100 points, ended August 30, 264 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
Before I start, 'to' in the second-last line should be 'too'. Some punctuation definitely would have helped as well.
This actually reminded me of the song, "Never Again", by Nickelback, in which a man continues beating his wife until she finally has enough and puts a bullet through his brain. It's a great rock tune, and I recommend you check it out, if you do feel so inclined.
It's sad that anyone has ever had to go through such things. Abusers will always try to worm their way back into your affections, because abuse isn't just physical. It comes in many forms, and I, myself, was in a relationship at one point where the guy I was with used to constantly talk down at me and make me feel like less of a person than he was. I put up with it because I cared for him, but I soon grew tired of his constant head-games.
Overall, this is a great poem, and I'm sorry if it's personal. Thank you for entering, and good luck.
Laura
Adding your comment:
