After I fell to the ground
I could feel that I was being carried
I didn’t know what it was
But I knew they were moving fast
I tried to listen to their chatter
I couldn’t understand a word of it
But they seemed pretty concerned
About something very important
They continued to carry me
And I couldn’t believe their stamina
I just let them carry me away
Knowing I wouldn’t have lasted on my own
Eventually, they stopped in their tracks
And I could hear the others
Now they seemed to go into panic
Like the end of the world was on its way
They carried me from there to darkness
I couldn’t even tell when it happened
All of a sudden, I was underground
Somewhere I never knew existed
I couldn’t tell how long they carried me
The sun was my guide to time and space
By now, I became just an object
Something that has no meaning at all
They stopped again, this time in haste
Ready to feast for the end of the world
Piece by piece, they took me apart
And then it hit, their enemy, the rain
A contest entry
- Poems Please by Violet Moodswing.
875 points, ended June 29, 2008, 55 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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While I am not entirely sure what creature "they" are because my minds eye is just not sure what leaf chomping, scared of water, underground beings it is trying to wrap around, I still very much enjoyed the poem. I found it not only realistic in the concrete, but also nicely metaphorical based on my frame of reference and conclusions drawn.
Thanks for entering
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wow! this was a pretty interesting poem! >.< very well written with stunning imagery and metaphors! painted beautiful pictures in mind!
Brilliant! 
keep pening!
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successful in keeping suspense till the end...very interesting with the smoth flow of words ...
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