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When Broken Bodies Weep

 

Slowly ceasing
Oxygen depleting
Days decreasing
I know it's soon

I shall meet peace
No longer in the path of suffering
I will release
Chains of oppression in my skin
I won't need

Can you see me?
When I depart from here
And "now" becomes "then"
And I embark on eternity
You become my past
As I watch you cry for me
I smile because I feel so much better

If you only knew

 

 

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • movedon
    July 24, 2008

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    The title is beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. Your emotions speak loudly in this poem. Well done.

    Warmest,
    Mylee


  • Silly Rabbit.
    July 4, 2008

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    Oh wow... This is beautiful. Such emotion can be so powerful and this piece demonstrates that. Keep up the good work and thanks for sharing.


  • checkmate
    June 18, 2008

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    this is such a painful read. the imagery is great- I could picture every little detail. there is so much intensity, especially at the beginning- and at the last stanza, the intensity slowly turns to a feeling more tangible. excellent work. I love this.

    best of lucks.
    -checkmate-

  • kales4
    June 14, 2008

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    thank you for entering my contest. This first stanza of this poem is very good. I felt like when i read this ppoem i could hear the clock ticking reminding me that time eventually runs out. This poem seems very bitteersweet and resentful.. i love it. I love how the last line is all by itself as it is stong enough to end with one last word. Nuice write and good luck

  • piccola silver member
    June 10, 2008

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    very strong write you have penned here. That's the trouble with "departing" they never know the feelings we have inside ... thank you for entering


  • ellaelu
    June 9, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    oh so moving...well written and beautiful.

1 - 6 of 6